If you can compassionately validate your own feelings, gently reminding yourself that it’s only natural for you to feel the way you do, you won’t have to speak louder and louder in order to feel heard. You can tell yourself what you really want to hear in the moment, “I’m so sorry you’re feeling hurt and frustrated right now, what can I do to help?” Then, once you begin to feel accepted and cared for, you’ll be in a better place to listen to what your partner is saying and see things from his or her point of view. Less fuel will be added to the fire, and the conflict will hopefully start to
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