Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

by Kristin Neff

1. Sit comfortably in a quiet spot. The first task is to create an image of a safe place. This can be imaginary or real—any place that makes you feel peaceful, calm, and relaxed: a white sandy beach, a forest glade with deer grazing nearby, Grandmother’s kitchen, or near a crackling fire. Try to really envisage this place in your mind’s eye. What are the colors? How bright is it? What sounds or smells are there? If you ever feel anxious or insecure during your voyage into self-compassion, you can call up this image of your safe place to help calm and soothe yourself. 2. The next task is to create an image of an ideally caring and compassionate figure, someone who embodies wisdom, strength, warmth, and nonjudgmental acceptance. For some this will be a known religious figure like Christ or the Buddha. For others it will be someone they have known in the past who was very compassionate, like a favorite aunt or teacher. For still others it might be a beloved pet, a completely imaginary being, or even an abstract image like a white light. Try to see this image as vividly as possible, incorporating as many of the senses as possible. 3. If you are suffering in some way right now, think about the type of wise, caring things that this idealized source of compassion would say to comfort you right now. How would his or her voice sound? What feelings would be conveyed in his or her tone? If you’re feeling a bit numb or shut down, just let yourself bask in the compassionate presence of...