The Well of Lost Plots (Thursday Next, #3)

by Jasper Fforde

Miss Havisham was a bit like a strict parent, your worst teacher and a newly appointed South American dictator all rolled into one.

We carried on towards the heavy castle wall at a speed not wholly compatible with survival.

‘Shall what?’ enquired Heathcliff. ‘You gutless popinjay! My dog has more valour in its pizzle than you possess in your entire body!

learned years later that Hemingway once wrote a book that was demolished because he insisted that every single one of the eight characters was named Geoff.’