Very Good, Jeeves!

by P.G. Wodehouse

‘What do ties matter, Jeeves, at a time like this? Do you realize that Mr Little’s domestic happiness is hanging in the scale?’ ‘There is no time, sir, at which ties do not matter.’

I was pushing a bit of breakfast into the Wooster face at the moment and, feeling fairly well-fortified with coffee and kippers, I decided to break the news to Jeeves without delay.

‘Right ho, Jeeves. Are the studs in my shirt?’ ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘And the links also?’ ‘Yes, sir.’ ‘Then push me into it.’

He is like his son, he hasn’t got a mother, either.’ ‘These things run in families, don’t they?’

Tell me, were you always like this, or did it come on suddenly?’ ‘Sir?’ ‘The brain. The grey matter. Were you an outstandingly brilliant boy?’ ‘My mother thought me intelligent, sir.’

has a personality which is not uniformly pleasing. He is apt to express himself with a breezy candour

If ever there was a kid whose whole appearance seemed to call aloud to any right-minded boy to lure him into a quiet spot and inflict violence upon him, that kid was undeniably Sebastian Moon.

what a young and inexperienced girl needs is a man of weight and years to lean on. The sturdy oak, not the sapling.’