I Fell in Love with Hope

by Lancali

We spent our whole lives together pretending, but if you pretend for too long, reality reminds you one way or another that it doesn’t like being insulted.

As he cries into my shoulder, I only feel every moment he ever opened his eyes when I thought he wouldn’t. I feel the smiles we shared when death decided to give him back to me, over and over again.

“Remember that just because the stars fell doesn’t mean they weren’t worth wishing on.”

You don’t have to partake in destruction to admire the weapons.

Humans have a knack for self-destruction. Only those of us who love broken things will ever know why.

“But sometimes parents love the idea of their child more than the person they are.”

When you meet someone infatuating, someone you can stare at and listen to and talk to without taking notice of time, someone you think of constantly, there comes the question of blooming addiction. Nothing addictive is ever good for you.

Death is sudden. It has no taste for irony or reason. It doesn’t wait for another tick of the metronome. It doesn’t wait for goodbyes. Death is a taker, plain, direct, no tricks up its sleeve. And it will give you nothing in return but a last endless kiss for those you leave behind.

“Depression—I don’t care if you hate the word—depression is a better thief than you or I ever will be. It steals moments that should be yours.

“You like the numbness?” she asks. “It’s better than the pain.”

Suns can’t see their own light.

every time I remember how little you think of yourself, I feel angry. I feel like banishing anyone and everyone who ever made you believe you deserve to be alone. Because that kind of pain, it—it can ruin people; it can make them lose faith in everything,

books were an infinite source of escapism.

Hope is ignorance, a liar, an accidental creature made of fear.

The day I met him is a memory laced with the joy of its happening and the pain of its passing. Because even if I told you I have forgotten, you can’t trust me. You don’t ever forget the first time you fall.

Death is sudden. It has no taste for irony or reason. It is a taker, plain, direct, no tricks up its sleeve. But at least, This time, Death was kind enough to wait for goodbye.

Grief can be destructive, a parasite that needs expulsion, water flowing over a dam, but like most terrible, necessary things, it can be shared. Time is kind with grief. It takes it from you, piece by piece, till the sorrow is a song you remember the beat of but no longer hear.

So thank you, Sony, Hikari, Sam… Thank you, Coeur… For teaching me to love myself.

“Life is made of so many goodbyes welded together.”

LONELINESS IS A soft-spoken abuser, singing lullabies, you are alone, you are nothing, you are empty.

I will remember those I love longer than I had a chance to know them.

“One day, the universe will collapse, death will have no one left to claim, disease will have no one to infect, and time will come to an end, but even then, it will not have been for nothing. Because if we chose to only love what we couldn’t lose, then we would never love at all.”