In My Own Way: An Autobiography

by Alan W. Watts

So I have always done things in my own way, which is at once the way that comes naturally to me, that is honest, sincere, genuine, and unforced; but also perverse,

I thought I had no business writing an autobiography, because I have been a sedentary and contemplative character, an intellectual, a Brahmin, a mystic, and also somewhat of a disreputable epicurean who has had three wives, seven children, and five grandchildren—and I cannot make up my mind whether I am confessing or boasting. But I have not fought in wars, explored mountains and jungles, battled in politics, commanded great business corporations, or accumulated vast wealth. It seemed to me, therefore, that I had no story to tell as the world judges stories.

I have, then, a preference for books that I can open at any place and begin to read—books like a garden in which I can roam, and not like a tunnel, maze, or superhighway where I must enter at Point A and come out at Point

I have realized that the past and the future are real illusions, that they exist only in the present, which is what there is and all that there is.

History determines what we are only to the extent that we insist, now, that it does so.

For every sentient being is God—omnipotent, omniscient, infinite, and eternal—pretending with the utmost sincerity and determination to be otherwise, to be a mere creature subject to failure, pain, death, temptation, hellfire, and ultimate tragedy.

Thus, in telling this nonstory of my own life I shall always begin from the present,

Each of the twenty books I have had published arrives at the same destination from a different point of departure, as the spokes of a wheel converge at the hub from separate points on the rim.

an enormous amount of philosophy, theology, and even psychology strikes me as a discussion of words and concepts without relation to experience—not

As poets value the sounds of words above their meanings, and images above arguments, I am trying to get thinking people to be aware of the actual vibrations of life as they would listen to music.

Generally speaking, the task of autobiography so embarrasses the writer that he must either boast or confess. Men of action and adventure tend to boast. Men of piety and intellect tend to confess,

Somehow I have come to a place where I see through ideas, beliefs, and symbols. They are natural expressions of life, but do not, as they so often claim, embrace or explain life.

Physical education is the fundamental discipline of life,

the true intent of our schools is to inculcate the virtues of cunning and calculation which will make money, not so much for the students themselves as for those who employ and govern them, and who, in turn (because they were educated in the same system), do not know how to transform money into physical enjoyment.

cultivated mediocrity.

Contemporary culture

In the same connection, it might be asked why the German army has lost two world wars. Because of the goose-step and brass bands, because of military stamp, pomp, and swagger. An effective army is inaudible and invisible; you cannot hear or see it coming. This is also why the French and the Americans have not been able to subdue Vietnam: their methods of war are too affectedly masculine.

Topophilia is a word invented by the British poet John Betjeman for a special love for peculiar places. It sounds almost like a disease or a perversion, but it comes close to the Japanese aware, which signifies a sophisticated nostalgia.

Introdice askesis in this manner & style

Speaking as of today, I do not consider it intellectually respectable to be a partisan in matters of religion. I see religion as I see such other basic fascinations as art and science, in which there is room for many different approaches, styles, techniques, and opinions. Thus I am not formally a committed member of any creed or sect and hold no particular religious view or doctrine as absolute. I deplore missionary zeal, and consider exclusive dedication to and advocacy of any particular religion, as either the best or the only true way, an almost irreligious arrogance.

it has long seemed to me that basic religion is beyond good and evil—indeed,

Zen deals with reality—the universe—as it is, and not as it is thought about and described.