All That You Are (All That You Are, #1)

by Elicia Roper

THIS BOOK IS DEDICATED to anyone who has ever felt that they are not good enough. I want you to know that you are enough. A thousand times enough, and you will find someone who will love you, all of you, for all that you are.

Through thick and thin, she is always by her side. The two have been inseparable ever since they met in kindergarten.

When she smiles, there is this glow about her.

Okay, so I might have a teensy-weensy problem. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I’m a book hoarder... but I do love books.

“I just feel like... I’m drowning. Gasping for air with no way out.”

But sadly, it’s not okay, and honestly, I’m not sure that it ever will be.

Emotions are a funny thing. No matter how far down you bury them, they always seem to find a way to climb back up to the surface.

and all I can think is there is nothing I would not do to keep that smile on her face. I find myself becoming forgetful at times. When I am with her, I forget that I don’t deserve to be happy.

Reading is one of the few times I feel completely at peace. I am free from inconvenient thoughts and feelings in a world other than my own.

“It’s just that... friends don’t look at each other that way,”

My heart starts to wonder what it would be like if I didn’t hold back and tell her how I felt about her.

“I just wanted to hear your voice.”

We may not be blood-related, but we are family.

I’m the one with a massive collection of books that I don’t read.

But Athena... she makes me want to live.

I’m grateful to drown in something other than my thoughts.

We are only human; it’s natural for us to make mistakes. What matters most is how you deal with it. It’s what you do after that counts.

The problem is that I think too much. I spend so much time wondering what the future will look like instead of focusing on what is right here in front of me now. I know. Sometimes I wish I could just press fast forward to see how this would end.

All I want is peace. Peace from the whirring thoughts spiraling in my mind.

“Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone the wrong action.” Mom puts a hand on mine. “Forgiveness is to release yourself from the prison you are in. It’s to stop the person who hurt you from continuing to hurt you.”

My Mom... is the epitome of forgiveness. She is everything that I aspire to be.

I don’t want to feel or think. About anything.

“I’m convinced that you actually like to suffer. You’ve been suffering for so long; you wouldn’t even know what to do if you ever felt happy.”

“I feel so lost... like I don’t even know who I am anymore or what I want.”

“No one’s life is exactly as we pictured it to be... I feel like we hold ourselves to such unrealistically high standards, only to punish ourselves for not being able to reach them. Of course, we can’t reach them since they were unattainable in the first place.”

“I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. You are inspiring

you have a big heart, so when you love someone, you give them all of you, and it hurts if they don’t do the same.”

The thing about broken hearts is, unlike a broken bone, it doesn’t get the time and attention it needs to heal. It goes undetected by the naked eye, so no one really knows the pain you are feeling on the inside.

Life with me will be... exhausting and frustrating.

I’m not confident in myself or my ability to give her all of me, to shed light on the parts that even I don’t want to see. It’s ugly and scary. I

Real life is tragic and miserable—we don’t always get what we want in the end.

life will never be perfect, but it can be beautiful. We must choose to see its beauty, not despite its cracks or imperfections, but because of it.

“It’s okay not to be okay... if you’re in pain, you are allowed to cry.”

Dealing with mental health can be lonely and scary, and unfortunately, there is still so much stigma around mental health, which makes getting help even more difficult. That’s why I would like you to know that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Accepting help and treatment doesn’t make you weak; it makes you strong and brave.

You are important, and you deserve to feel loved and to be happy. You are not alone.