The Third Policeman

by Flann O'Brien

‘You told me what the first rule of wisdom is,’ I said. ‘What is the second rule?’ ‘That can be answered,’ he said. ‘There are five in all. Always ask any questions that are to be asked and never answer any. Turn everything you hear to your own advantage. Always carry a repair outfit. Take left turns as much as possible. Never apply your front brake first.’

‘He is a melody man,’ the Sergeant added, ‘and very temporary, a menace to the mind.’

I thought it was a poor subject for conversation, this new colour. Apparently its newness was new enough to blast a man’s brain to imbecility by the surprise of it.

it was again the beginning of the unfinished, the re-discovery of the familiar, the re-experience of the already suffered, the fresh-forgetting of the unremembered. Hell goes round and round. In shape it is circular and by nature it is interminable, repetitive and very nearly unbearable.’