The Host (The Host, #1)

by Stephenie Meyer

“Come on, Doc. Don’t be stupid. You’ve got some big vents in here, and a lot of reflective metal.” Brandt gestured to a file cabinet against the far wall. “You let your attention wander for half a minute, and it’ll be flashing signals to that Seeker.”

Trip and die brandt we could use you to bring back Walter and Wes

Doc’s face was hollow with echoed agony. Walter quieted after I spoke to him for a moment, letting him think his wife was near. It was an easy lie, a kind one. Brandt made little noises of irritation, but I knew that he was wrong to be upset.

His face was carefully composed, but there was surprise and suspicion in there again. It made me tired. What would be the point of acting out a charade now, even if I were that talented a liar? Walter would never stand up for me again. I couldn’t sucker him anymore. I met Jared’s gaze for one long second, then turned to hurry down the pitch-black corridor that was brighter than his expression.

I thought I heard something behind me when I reached the octopus-like juncture where all the sleeping halls met. I looked back, but I couldn’t see anyone in the dim cave. People were beginning to stir.

“Ian’s still sleeping,” Ian’s voice answered. “I’m sure that won’t last forever, though, so we’d best get on with this.” Splinters of ice pinned my joints in place. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. I’d noticed it before, and then forgotten it in the long weeks of Kyle’s absence: not only did Ian and his brother look very much alike, but — when Kyle spoke at a normal volume, which so rarely happened — they also had exactly the same voice. There was no air. I was trapped in this black hole with Kyle at the door. There was no way out. Keep quiet! Melanie shrieked in my head.

But before he could take advantage, there was another result. The cracking sound was deafening. I thought the whole cave was coming down. The floor shuddered beneath us. Kyle gasped and jumped back, taking me — hands still locked in his hair — with him. The rock under his feet, with more cracking and groaning, began to crumble away.

Ian leaped through the door, the rifle in his hands, held low and ready. His face was the angry mask his brother had worn. “Watch out!” I screamed at him. “The floor is breaking up! I can’t hold him much longer!” It took him two long seconds to process the scene that was so different from the one he’d been expecting — Kyle, trying to kill me. The scene that had been, just seconds ago.

“Why are you protecting him? He tried to kill you.” It was a statement of fact, not a question. His expression slowly melted from anger to horror. He was imagining what we had been doing on that unstable shelf — I could see that in his eyes. When I did not answer, he spoke again in a whisper. “He was going to throw you in the river. . . .” A strange tremor shook his body. Ian had one arm around Kyle — he’d collapsed that way and seemed too tired to move. Now he shoved his unconscious brother away roughly, sliding farther from him in disgust. He slid into me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He pulled me close against his chest — I could feel his breath go in and out, still more ragged than normal.

“You were right, then,” Jeb guessed. The curiosity was strong, but the steel in his tone was stronger. His jaw was tight beneath the fan of his beard. “I didn’t hear a shot. Kyle?” “He’s unconscious,” I said in a rush. “You need to warn everyone — part of the floor collapsed in the river room. I don’t know how stable it is now. Kyle hit his head really hard trying to get out of the way. He needs Doc.”

Doc tugged my shirt up, and I heard both Ian and Jared hiss at what they saw. “Let me guess,” Ian said in a voice like ice. “You fell on a rock.” “Good guess,” I agreed, breathless. Doc was still touching my side, and I was trying to hold back whimpers. “Might have broken a rib, not sure,” Doc murmured.

He ducked in and touched his lips to my forehead. No one was more surprised than I, though I heard Jared gasp quietly. My mouth hung open as Ian wheeled and nearly sprinted from the room. I heard Doc pull a breath in through his teeth, like a backward whistle. “Well,” he said.

“Aw, hell!” Kyle grumbled. My gaze flickered toward him at the sound of his voice. I could just see his bright eyes around Jared’s elbow, focused on me. “It didn’t fall!” he complained.

“I am female,” I complained. “That ‘it’ business is really getting on my nerves.”

Ehh still dodgy

“How about by yours? In my species, I am the one that bears young. Is that not female enough for you?” That stopped him short. I felt almost smug. As you should, Melanie approved. He’s wrong, and he’s being a pig about it. Thank you. We girls have to stick together.

The eyes that I could see widened, looked a little wilder. I tried not to feel hurt when Wes cringed away from me. Doc whistled under his breath. He was the only one who was still interested in continuing. Aaron and Andy had wary, disturbed expressions on their faces. They’d never heard me teach before. Never heard me speak so much. “When does that happen? Is there a catalyst?” Doc asked. “It’s a choice. A voluntary choice,” I told him. “It’s the only way we ever willingly choose to die. A trade, for a new generation.” “You could choose now, to divide all your cells, just like that?” “Not quite just like that, but yes.”

“They couldn’t hurt you,” I told whoever it was, not opening my eyes. “Without host bodies, they would die quickly.” I winced, imagining the unimaginable grief. A million tiny, helpless souls, tiny silver babies, withering . . . No one answered me, but I could feel their relief in the air.

“Bye, Walt,” Jeb said. “See you on the other side.” He stepped back. “You’re a good man. You’ll be missed,” Jared murmured. Doc was fumbling in the package of morphine again. The paper crackled. “Gladdie?” Walt sobbed. “It hurts.” “Shhh. It won’t hurt much longer. Doc will make it stop.” “Gladdie?” “Yes?” “I love you, Gladdie. I’ve loved you my whole life long.” “I know, Walter. I — I love you, too. You know how I love you.”

Something stung my arm. I didn’t remember having hurt my arm. And in such a strange place, just inside my elbow . . . Morphine, Melanie whispered. We were already drifting now. I tried to be alarmed, but I couldn’t be. I was too far gone. No one said goodbye, I thought dully. I couldn’t expect Jared . . . but Jeb . . . Doc . . . Ian wasn’t here . . . No one’s dying, she promised me. Just sleeping this time . . .

My right eye saw the bright reflection that danced across his face. He squinted away from the light, recoiling a few inches. Ian’s hand on my shoulder didn’t flinch. That surprised me.

Doc took my wrist, and I didn’t fight him. I looked away as the needle bit into my skin, looked at Ian. His eyes were midnight in the dark. They tightened at the look of betrayal in mine. “Sorry,” he muttered. It was the last thing I heard.

“Cheetos!” I cried. “Really? For me?” Something touched my lip, and I crunched into the delicacy he offered. “I’ve been dreaming about this.” I sighed as I chewed. That made him laugh. He put the bag in my hands.

He helped me to my feet, leaving his arm around my waist and pulling my arm around his neck. “Careful, now. How’s that?” I hobbled forward a step. It hurt, but I could do it. “Great. Let’s go.” I think Ian likes you too much. Too much? I was surprised to hear from Melanie, and so distinctly. Lately, she only spoke up like this when Jared was around. I’m here, too. Does he even care about that? Of course he does. He believes us more than anyone besides Jamie and Jeb. I don’t mean that. What do you mean? But she was gone.

“Who can prove that it’s not the truth that sounds so false on its lips?” “Mag —” Jeb started.

Bitch

“Murder is a subjective term,” Maggie hissed. “I only consider it murder when something human is killed.” I felt Ian’s arm wrap around my shoulder. I didn’t realize that I was trembling until his motionless body was against mine.

Jamie walked away from Jeb to come squeeze in between Trudy and me. He put his arm around me, under Ian’s. “Maybe your souls were right about us,” he said, loud enough for most to hear his high, hard voice. “The majority are no better than —” “Hush!” I hissed at him.

Anyone who tries to hurt Wanda again will not get a tribunal, they will get a burial.” He slapped the butt of his gun for emphasis. I flinched. Magnolia glared hatefully at her brother.

If you don't like it leave you bitch willing to bet she would refuse to wear a mask during a plague (jeb would wear one he has a brain)

My balance was all off, thanks to the awkward weight of my sore leg. Strong hands caught me before I could fall on my face. I looked up, a little rueful, to thank Ian. The words caught in my throat when I saw that it was Jared whose arms held me up. “You could have just asked for help,” he said conversationally. “I —” I cleared my throat. “I should have. I didn’t want to . . .” “Call attention to yourself?” He said the words as if he were truly curious. There was no accusation in them. He helped me hobble toward the cave entrance.

“Ian is . . . Ian believes me. He watches over me. He can be so very kind . . . for a human.” Almost like a soul, I’d wanted to say. But that wouldn’t have sounded like the compliment it was to this audience. Jared snorted. “For a human. A more important distinction than I’d realized.” He lowered me to the lip of the entrance. It made a shallow bench that was more comfortable than the flat floor. “Thank you,” I told him. “Jeb did the right thing, you know.”

“But when they started attacking you today . . . well, I snapped. I could see in them everything that shouldn’t have been in me. I realized I already did believe, and that I was just being obstinate. Cruel. I think I’ve believed since . . . well, a little bit since that first night when you put yourself in front of me to save me from Kyle.” He laughed as if he didn’t think Kyle was dangerous. “But I’m better at lying than you are. I can even lie to myself.”

Ian was worried. His eyes were tight, and he seemed on the verge of coming to protect me again. To make sure Jared wasn’t upsetting me. I smiled, to reassure him. He didn’t smile back, but he took a deep breath. I don’t think that’s why he’s worried, Mel said.

“Here you go . . .” Ian was there, his hands full of granola bars. “Beat ya,” Jamie told him. “Oh,” Jared said, appearing on Jamie’s other side. He also had too many bars for one. Ian and Jared exchanged a long glance. “Where’s all the food?” Kyle demanded. He stood over an empty box, his head swiveling around the room, looking for the culprit. “Catch,” Jared said, tossing granola bars one by one, hard, like knives.

“Who’s got the crush on a worm, bro? You gonna call me stupid?” Ian lifted his fists, leaning forward.

Jared still held my hand. Did he realize how tightly he was gripping it? The pressure was starting to get uncomfortable, but he didn’t seem aware. And I certainly wasn’t going to complain. “Why don’t you get lunch?” Jared suggested to Ian. “You look hungry. I’ll take her wherever you had planned . . . ?” Ian chuckled, a low, dark sound.

I now really saw Ian’s room for the first time, with the noon sun filtering down through the narrow cracks in the ceiling. It wasn’t as bright as Jamie and Jared’s room, or as tall. It was smaller, more proportionate. Roundish — sort of like my hole, only ten times the size. There were two twin mattresses on the floor, shoved against opposite walls to make a narrow aisle between them. Against the back wall, there was a long, low wooden cupboard; the left side had a pile of clothes on top, two books, and a stack of playing cards. The right side was completely empty, though there were shapes in the dust that indicated this was a recent occurrence.

Does he? Wanda, open your eyes. He’s starting to . . . How do I explain it so that you’ll understand right? To feel about you . . . the way you feel about Jared. Can’t you see that? I couldn’t answer for two heartbeats. That’s impossible, I finally said. “Do you think what happened this morning will influence Aaron or Brandt?” Ian asked in a low voice from the other side of the doors. “You mean Kyle getting a bye?” “Yeah. They didn’t have to . . . do anything before. Not when it looked so likely that Kyle would do it for them.” “I see your point. I’ll speak to them.” “You think that will be enough?”

“That body doesn’t belong to her.” “Your point?” Jared’s voice was hard when he answered. “Keep your hands off it.” A low chuckle from Ian. “Jealous, Howe?” “That’s not really the issue.” “Really.” Ian was sarcastic now. “Wanda seems to be, more or less, cooperating with Melanie.

“Melanie will always be mine. And I will always be hers.” Always. Melanie and I were suddenly at opposite ends of the spectrum. She was flying, elated. I was . . . not. We waited anxiously through the next silence. “But what if it were you?” Ian asked in little more than a whisper. “What if you were stuffed in a human body and let loose on this planet, only to find yourself lost among your own kind? What if you were such a good . . . person that you tried to save the life you’d taken, that you almost died trying to get her back to her family? What if you then found yourself surrounded by violent aliens who hated you and hurt you and tried to murder you, over and over again?”

Did Ian really think so highly of me? Did he really think I’d earned the right to a life here? “Point taken?” Ian pressed. “I — I’ll have to think about that one.”

“She is quite capable of responding to physical contact,” Jared informed him, his tone suddenly sober again. “She’s human enough for that. Or her body is, anyway.” My face went hot. Ian was silent. “Jealous, O’Shea?” “Actually . . . I am. Surprisingly so.” Ian’s voice was strained. “How would you know that?” Now Jared hesitated. “It was . . . sort of an experiment.” “An experiment?” “It didn’t go the way I thought it would. Mel punched me.” I could hear that he was grinning at the memory, and I could see, in my head, the little lines fanning out around his eyes. “Melanie . . . punched . . . you?” “It sure wasn’t Wanda. You should have seen her face. . . . What? Hey, Ian, easy, man!”

He smiled at me. It was odd how his eyes could both scorch and warm. Especially with a color that was closer to ice than fire. They were quite warm at the moment.

What things? Mel growled. I grimaced. I didn’t like feeling her anger. It was so much more vicious than mine. Get used to it. Ian put his hand on my face. “I’ll let you think about things, okay? So you can decide how you feel.” I tried to be objective about that hand. It was soft against my face. It felt . . . nice. Not like when Jared touched me. But also different from the way it felt when Jamie hugged me. Other. “It might take a while. None of this makes any sense, you know,” I told him. He grinned. “I know.”

“It’s not the face, but the expressions on it. It’s not the voice, but what you say. It’s not how you look in that body, but the things you do with it. You are beautiful.”

“Or Wes’s?” “But you’re female — you yourself are.” “And I always request whatever a planet’s equivalent is. It seems more . . . right. But I could be put into a man and I would function just fine.”

Ian flinched. His eyes tightened. “What?” I asked. “What’s wrong?” “When Jared kisses you, you are . . . overwhelmed by emotion.” I stared at him, worried by the expression on his face. Melanie enjoyed it. That’s right! He sighed. “And when I kiss you . . . you aren’t sure if you like it. You are not . . . overwhelmed.” “Oh.” Ian was jealous. How very strange this world was. “I’m sorry.”

“But Jamie, where will Jared stay?” “Wait — let me guess,” Ian interrupted. “I bet he said the room was big enough for three. Am I right?” “Yeah. How did you know?” “Lucky guess.”

Ian hugged me with what Melanie thought was unnecessary enthusiasm. “You’re my very favorite person in the known universe.” “Thanks,” I muttered dryly. “Ready to be humiliated, Wanda?” Wes taunted. “You may have taken the planet, but you’re losing this game.”

“No one ever said she couldn’t play.” “No one ever said she was a pro, either.” I liked that — it made me smile. “Don’t be a sore loser,” Lily said, reaching out to tickle Wes’s stomach playfully. He caught her fingers and pulled her closer to him. She laughed, tugging away, but Wes reeled her in and planted a solid kiss on her laughing mouth.

“For you, I will lose with grace,” Wes told her, and then set her free. Lily’s smooth caramel skin had taken on a bit of pink on her cheeks and neck. She peeked at Ian and me to see our reaction.

Oh, well. He’s too young for me, but what does that matter here?” She laughed again. “It’s strange how life and love go on. I didn’t expect that.”

How young

like it, too. Wes finally got the girl. Gives me hope.” He winked at me. “Do you think Melanie would make you very uncomfortable if I were to kiss you right now?” I stiffened for a second, then took a deep breath. “Probably.” Oh, yes. “Definitely.”