Pax has fucked half of their cheerleading squad. Wren’s fucked the other half. I made it my business to fuck the lacrosse team captain’s girlfriend last semester, so— Okay, okay. Fine. Hindsight. I’m at least seventy percent responsible for the sloppy blue dick that was painted on our front door, but let’s not dwell on that, okay? We’re going to a party. I’m still ‘injured’, so I won’t be participating in tonight’s little escapade. My job is to provide moral support and keep an eye out to make sure we don’t get busted. I can handle that. Be nice if we could all just stay at home, polish off a
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