I give him a dour look, rolling my eyes. “You ever been cathed?” “Cathed?” “Yeah. Had a catheter jammed down your dick hole. It really sucks, dude. Hurts like a motherfucker. That’s how I feel right now. Like I’ve been cathed with barbed wire and I’m pissing razor blades. And that’s only when I’m standing still. When I walk, it feels like someone’s shoved broken glass down my urethra and they’re using a bottle brush to really wedge it down there good—” “Oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with you? Stop!” His eyes are legit watering. “You look like a Grecian fucking god. We’re at a party full of
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