Riot Rules (Crooked Sinners)

by Callie Hart

“I break the things I like, love. Trust me. You don’t want me to like you.”

“Am I supposed to be upset by that?” I hiss. “You’re acting like you just ruined my life. I hate to break it to you, but I’ve survived way worse than you, Dashiell Lovett.” “Oh, sweetheart,” he croons. “You’re mistaken. There is nothing worse than me.”

action. The clash of clouds produces electricity. Electricity produces lightning…and lightning gives light. His actions will have consequences, and I am a consequence he does not want to have to deal with.

“Stop trying to save me, for fuck’s sake. Just… I want you to be real with me. That’s all I’ve wanted from the beginning. Everything’s a front with you. An argument. A game. A lie. I’m so sick of it. I just want the truth. I just want…I just want you.”

Kissing Dash is like drinking from a vial of poison. Each sip I take from him, each brush of my lips, each tentative sweep of my tongue, each savored taste of his mouth dooms me further. The more I take, the more I’ll suffer for it, but there’s nothing to be done about it now. It only took one taste to seal my fate; I might as well drink long and drink deep now.

“What do you think?” he whispers into my neck. “You can feel it right? How hard I am? Of course I fucking want you. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my entire life. I wanna corrupt you so fucking bad, it hurts. It’s taking every ounce of strength I possess not to rail the living shit out of you. I want you breathless, shaking, and painted in my come.”

This is better than gentle. This is the truth. This is how Dashiell Lovett fucks. “Carina. Carina. Fucking hell, Carrie. Fuck.” He chants my name like it’s both prayer and curse. “You’re perfect. You’re beautiful. You’re incredible. You’re mine.”

“No fucking way, Mendoza. Your fate’s sealed. You belong to me now. You’re just gonna have to learn to live behind a few locked doors is all.” My heart’s a rabbit, kicking at my breastbone. “And what if I don’t like hiding behind locked doors?” “Oh, you will.” “How can you be so sure?” “Because you’ll be locked behind them with me.”

“I want more than that. I want your sweat and your come. I want your body. I want it all. But I want the rest of you, too, Dash. I want your mind. I want your thoughts, and your feelings, and your music, and…and…all of you. If I can’t have that, too, then I don’t want any of it. What would be the point?”

“Whatever you give light to will grow, Dash. Feed something and it’ll flourish. Care enough and the fragile thing in your hands will strengthen. I have faith that you’ll give me what you can until there’s more of it to give. That’s all.”

“Stellaluna. Stars and moon. You’re way more beautiful than the night sky, Carrie. And…I dunno. Carrie just doesn’t seem to fit you somehow.”

“If the girls here are foolish enough to call me Sun God, then you are the goddess of the moon. Diana. Selene. Artemis. Luna. My pale and ethereal queen.”

“It’s okay, Stella. We’ll be a permanent eclipse. That way, we’ll always be together.” “That way, the world will always be in darkness,” I argue. He shrugs, flicking my lip with the tip of his tongue. “Who gives a flying fuck about the rest of the world. I only care about you and me.”

The bench underneath him creaks as he spins around and faces me. “What d’you think it was, silly girl,” he says. “It was you.”

“I’d like to tell you something.” My pulse kicks up a gear. “Is it important?” He smiles a small smile, his voice very quiet. “Terribly.” “Then I suppose you’d better go ahead.” His hand rests gently against my neck, his thumb stroking reverently along the line of my jaw. “I am so in love with you, Carina Mendoza. I feel like I might die.”

I’m cracked open. I’m hollowed out. I’m shattered into pieces. I’m done.

Pax and I look down at our beers and then look at each other. “Beating the shit out of that dude is gonna be really difficult,” Pax says, cracking open his beer. “Like, he is a dog trapped in a man’s body.” “I know,” I say morosely. “I was thinking the exact same thing.”

“Power’s a heady, addictive thing, Stella. It corrupts even the best of people, and I wasn’t even close to good. I was the lowest of the low. Taking power and lording it over others used to make me feel like I was in control. With you, I learned that true power is trust. It’s partnership. Vulnerability. Kindness. Friendship. You showed me all of that. You saved me from a lifetime, trapped in an ugly, vicious cycle that never would have made me truly happy. And for that, I will always be grateful. I never wanted to make you cry. I wanted to love you, and I still do.”

“You should have trusted me. I would have burned down the fucking world to protect you, Stella.”

“A new beginning sounds perfect. So long as I’m allowed to love you right out of the gate.”

“Okay, fine. I came here to be with you. Sue me. I’m in love with you.”