Plain Truth

by Jodi Picoult

What a catch-22: Katie wanting her to sacrifice this case on the altar of religious honesty; Ellie knowing that the last place honesty belonged was in court. It was like navigating a car in an ice storm – even if she’d been entirely sure of her own abilities, there were other parties on the road speeding by her, crossing lines, crashing.

‘Because I wrote a dissertation on it. Love’s the strongest kind of energy. Katie and I loved each other. We couldn’t love each other in my world, and we couldn’t love each other in her world. But all that love, all that energy, it had to go somewhere. It went into that baby.’ His voice broke. ‘Even if we couldn’t have each other, we would have both had him.’

‘For God’s sake, I’m in the middle of a trial! What do you expect?’ Coop let his hand trail off my shoulder, over my arm. ‘That one day you’ll look around,’ he said, ‘and you’ll find out you’ve been alone for years.’

As soon as we reached the lobby, a camera flash exploded in my face. ‘Is it true,’ the accompanying reporter said, her face only inches from mine, ‘that—’ ‘Can I just say something here?’ Coop interrupted pleasantly. ‘Do you know how tall I am?’ The reporter frowned. ‘Six-two, six-three?’ ‘Just about. Do you know what I weigh?’ ‘One ninety.’ ‘Excellent guess. Do you know that I’m thinking really hard about taking that camera and throwing it on the ground?’ The reporter smirked. ‘Guess you’re a bodyguard in every sense of the word.’ I squeezed Coop’s arm and pulled him off into a hallway, where I found an empty conference room. Coop stared at the closed door, as if contemplating going back after the reporter. ‘It’s not worth the publicity,’ I said. ‘But think about the psychological satisfaction.’

‘Thanks, Mr Stoltzfus.’ ‘Ellie,’ he whispered loudly, ‘you can call me Samuel.’ I grinned. ‘Okay. Samuel. Are you a little bit nervous?’ ‘Yes.’ The word came out on a guffaw of relief.

Samuel was silent for a moment. I held my breath, waiting for George to strike the killing blow. Then the Amishman looked up. ‘I am not a smart man, Mr Callahan. I didn’t go to college, like you. I don’t really know what you’re trying to ask me. Yes, I forgave Katie – but not for killing a baby. The only thing I had to forgive Katie for was breaking my heart.’ He hesitated. ‘And I don’t think even you English can put her in jail for that.’

‘In your opinion, was Katie Fisher responsible for her baby’s death?’ ‘Yes, if you want to get technical about it,’ Owen said. ‘After all, it was her body that passed on the Listeria monocytogenes to her fetus. But the infection certainly wasn’t intentional. You can’t blame Ms Fisher any more than you’d blame a mother who unwittingly passes along the AIDS virus to her unborn child.’ He looked at Katie, sitting with her head bowed. ‘That’s not homicide. It’s just plain sad.’

But she hadn’t been able to do anything about it, just like she hadn’t been able to keep Hannah from going under, or Jacob from being sent away, or Adam from leaving. Katie looked at the sky, etched with sharp detail around the naked branches of the oak. And she understood that these tragedies would keep coming until she confessed.

‘I lost three babies between Katie and Hannah,’ Sarah said matter-of-factly. ‘I never did understand why they say it that way in English – lose a baby. You know right where she is, don’t you? And you’d do anything to keep her there.’

‘Wait.’ Sarah paused at the door. ‘How …?’ I was unable to form the question, but she understood me anyway. ‘It’s the Lord’s will,’ she said quietly. ‘You get through it. You just never get over it.’

I had once left Coop because I wanted to see if I could be the best, if I could make my own way in the world. But living for months with the Fishers made me see the value of intrinsically knowing there was someone to help me up if I stumbled.

How many times would I throw this away, before I realized it was what I had been looking for all along?

‘Well, if you’d asked – which I might point out you didn’t – I could have told you that people around here would have trouble convicting someone Amish.’ ‘Why?’ Lizzie lifted one shoulder. ‘They’re sort of like angels-in-residence. If you admit that one of them’s a murderer, the whole world’s going to hell in a handbasket.’

He lifted her palm, kissed the center, and closed her fingers around it. Then he pressed the fist tight to her belly. ‘Remember me,’ Adam said thickly; and for the second time in Katie’s life, he left her behind.

‘It keeps us humble,’ Katie said. ‘Too many English think we’re saints, and this will remind them we’re just people.’