A Holly Jolly Ever After

by Julie Murphy

“I’d probably be Wiccan if I weren’t so lazy. So much work. And do you know what a bundle of sage costs in LA County these days?”

“Do these things come in sizes?” I asked. “Mind if I take a peek?” Luca asked. “Go for it.” He spun around and nodded thoughtfully. “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

I had a crush on the man’s hands. Like a hand perv.

When I woke up the next morning, three things immediately became apparent: I should have taken the ibuprofen. I was too fucking old to sleep on a love seat. Or really anything that wasn’t a bed. I forgot what number 3 was.