A Holly Jolly Ever After
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Read between December 21 - December 27, 2024
12%
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“But think of the optics, Winnie! Couple reunited! Love conquers all! You’ll feed the narrative with a People story and joint public appearances at our church, and everyone will eat it up.”
KarenElenaP
Ummmm what? Thats not sustainable
18%
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There were toys made to look like real people’s bodies?
KarenElenaP
Oh honey....
23%
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Seriously, how did other people do this? Weren’t they worried that people could . . . well . . . tell?
KarenElenaP
Does that matter???
24%
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I’d never crossed the finish line with Michael, and he was objectively hot and with enviable stamina.
KarenElenaP
Its because he never cared to have a conversation with you about what turns you on and vice versa
28%
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We’d met filming a movie called Treasures in Heaven when I was seventeen and had gotten married on my eighteenth birthday.
KarenElenaP
Whooaaaaaaaaa
28%
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guess it’s no surprise he wound up cheating on me.”
KarenElenaP
Not you justifying him cheating on you
45%
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“You’re all checked out,” said Stella from behind the check-in desk. “You were charged for your full reservation due to our cancellation policy. Oh, and the printer’s broken, so I can’t get you a statement either.”
KarenElenaP
LATER LOOOOSERRRRRRRR
64%
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Surely not, right? Surely the guy famous for slinging pizzas and boinking bridesmaids wouldn’t want to be bogged down with spit-up and mastitis and all the other unglamorous parts of parenting?
KarenElenaP
Jesus girl let yourself be loved
73%
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I’d never been religious, but this moment was as close as I’d ever come to believing in a higher power.
KarenElenaP
Hey Alexa, play God is a Woman😂
75%
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“Badum tss,” she said lazily, making a drum sound. “That purity culture pun gets ten out of ten.”
KarenElenaP
Bitch this has nothing to do w purity culture or it being a joke—HE LOVES YOU
76%
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smiled. I couldn’t wait to meet her, and the rest of Kallum’s family, even if I was a little nervous too.
KarenElenaP
Girlie it’s v natural to BE nervous—if therapy has taught me anything it’s to give myself the opportunity to feel
84%
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a solid apology would fix it.
KarenElenaP
Bro you need to do more than just give “a solid apology”
85%
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I basically ran the place for the last four months!”
KarenElenaP
Yeah ran it into the ground, you goofy ass mfer
87%
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Since Michael and I had gotten married, they’d been working at the Bachers’ media company, True Vine Studios, doing IP development, and I knew they wanted me to commit to a project with True Vine almost as much as they wanted me back together with Michael.
KarenElenaP
Ugh barf
87%
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The old friend turned out to be my old manager, Jackie Lipps, who had unceremoniously fired me not two years ago, and was now smiling up at me like we were old friends.
KarenElenaP
Aye girlllll where you been loca?
88%
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“No. I’m not shuttering Santa, Baby, and I’m not trying to squeeze my way back into True Vine’s good graces. And as much as you might want me to fit back into my old brand, I can’t now. I’m having a baby with someone I’m not married to. There’s nothing more contrary to the old brand than that.”
KarenElenaP
Pop off sis
88%
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From the outside, it will seem as if your parents have decided to welcome a new child into their family, and you are its attentive, doting sister.
KarenElenaP
WHAT THE FUCK??????????
88%
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play house as much as you want.
KarenElenaP
PLAY HOUSE—????? bitch you better be joking