A Holly Jolly Ever After

by Julie Murphy

And the thing was that I wanted to get rid of these walls in my mind; I wanted to watch porn and sexy movies and be the kind of person who could make dirty jokes.

maybe when it came down to it, being a kind person was more important than having an empty swear jar.

If I’d made myself uncomfortable for him, for my parents, for my old agent, then why couldn’t I make myself uncomfortable for myself? For something that I wanted to do?

“My point is, there’s no age when people stop learning about their bodies. Maybe you got a later start than some, but you’re still in the same wonderful race.”

living in the moment but also not needing the moment to bear the impossible weight of perfection.

We shared the kind of kisses that made me want to make playlists and overthink about birthday presents.

‘You let me star in a movie with the girl of my dreams and the memory of this experience will be the last thing I think of every night for the rest of my life.’

Because what seemed like noble, clear-eyed maturity just a few minutes ago was starting to feel like assuming the worst of someone.

If we know that going in we’re not perfect and can’t make little perfect human beings, then maybe just trying your best is good parenting.

I’m starting to realize that sometimes being a grown-ass man means owning up for the shit you caused, but especially the shit you didn’t mean to cause.”