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Failure is not the falling down, but the staying down. Mary Pickford
Every time he whines like a child, I find myself wondering what it is about him I ever found attractive.
Fool me once, never again. That’s the new saying.”
Because everyone knows, but no one talks about it, and that approach to life is wearing on my sanity.
I kept thinking of divorce as a failure. But leaving tonight didn’t feel like failing.
Because the very last thing I need in my life is someone who makes me feel like there’s not enough oxygen in my lungs when I’ve only just caught my breath.
I didn’t become a bull rider because I can’t stand an audience. The show, the crowd, the recognition—I thrive on it.
I flash my high beams, thinking I can help if she pulls over. I immediately feel like a serial killer. No woman in her right mind would pull over on a dark road to talk to a strange man who flashed his high beams at her.
“Red or white? You said you needed a drink. I wasn’t sure which one you like better, so I poured both. I’ll drink whatever you don’t.”
“Careful, that one’s got claws,” Cade offers right as Willa shoves a pointy elbow into his ribs. I grin. “That’s okay. I like having my back scratched.”
“You are incorrigible.” “Oooh! Incorrigible! Great word. Very Bridgerton. I could role-play the duke if that’s something you’re into.”
Who knew a man’s thyroid cartilage could attract me?
“No, Winter. I like you. Stop telling me I don’t.”
“I think I like you because you are a heart-stopping, jaw-dropping type of beautiful.”
God knows Rob has never been effective at making me feel good. Not the way it appears in movies or sounds in books. When the woman’s heart races and her skin prickles just because a man is looking at her. Theo looks at me like that. Like I might be his next meal.
“I don’t think I know what it’s like to be properly fucked.”
“Winter. I’d have properly fucked you in the back room of that gas station if you’d asked me.”
“What are you worried about? I don’t have orgasms, so alcohol intake won’t matter.” He blinks once, slow and methodical, those thick, dark lashes wiping away a flash of annoyance on his perfect bone structure. “Consent, Tink. I’m worried about consent. The rest isn’t an issue.” His voice drops to a low growl. “You’d get there with me. I’d make sure of it.”
“Contractual clarity has never made me harder.”
His eyes lock on mine with a level of intensity that screams at me to be careful. And then he says, “I’m going to ruin you tonight.”
“I’m going to ruin you tonight.”
“I can’t wait to see how fucking pretty you look when you come with my name on your lips.”
can’t wait to see how fucking pretty you look when you come with my name on your lips.”
I don’t want to be the butt end of a joke or seen as the child who never grows up. I want to chase my dreams and prove to myself I can do the things I set my mind to.
I don’t want to be the one-night stand who’s used to scratch an itch. I want a woman like Winter Hamilton—beautiful, and smart, and sharp-tongued—to look at me and see a future.
It’s why I’m terrified of telling everyone this news and then losing the baby like last time. Having clothes and toys and plans. Everyone thriving on that excitement, only to have them pour on condolences that I couldn’t even cope with. If I’m going to grieve a loss again, I want to do it privately.
It’s like my body knew Rob was a piece of shit, even when my brain didn’t. Ha. No. Nice try, honey. We don’t want a baby with this man.
I confessed to her that broken as my miscarriage left me, there is a shameful part of me that’s relieved I’m not tied to Rob Valentine for the rest of my life. I get to move on from him with no strings attached. A blessing and a curse. A guilt that eats me alive. One I have to learn to live with, because I am relieved to be free of him.
They might be dorks, but I’d have to be blind not to appreciate the things this getup does for a man’s ass. Everyone is on and on about a man in a suit, but I can’t help but wonder if they’ve ever seen a man in Wranglers and chaps. Suit who?
attention. “If I had known, I’d have been here every step of the way. Supporting you in whatever way you needed.
“Theo, honey, the question any good dad would ask himself now is: what are you going to do to make her feel less overwhelmed?”
“Go take a bath, Winter.” “What?” “Take that coffee and go run yourself a bath. Close the door. Put some music on. Watch some porn. Go have a moment to yourse—” I bark out a laugh. “You did not just tell me that. In front of a young, impressionable mind, no less.”
“Listen, if you’re not comfortable, I can leave. I don’t want to barge in here and demand time you aren’t ready to give. This must be weird for you.”
All my life, not a single person has prioritized how things might feel for me. And here is this man I barely know, prioritizing me.
“I could fucking bury whoever made you believe you’re as unlovable as you seem to think.”
could fucking bury whoever made you believe you’re as unlovable as you seem to think.”
“Why did you take my number?” I peek up at him while Vivi grabs at the neckline of my shirt in the most unsubtle way possible. Theo smiles down at me. “Told you I was going to come back for another shot, and I meant it.”
He bends down and whispers against my skin, “No, Winter. You’re my only baby mama.”
Theo snaps his fingers over the table, drawing his mentor’s attention back to himself. He went from looking amused to downright murderous. “Watch your fucking tone when you’re talking to the mother of my child.”
“Watch your fucking tone when you’re talking to the mother of my child.”
“I didn’t expect you to defend me.” I shake my head, a bit irritated she thinks I wouldn’t. “I’ll always defend you, Winter.”
“I’m going to take care of our daughter so that you can get the rest you need.”
I drop my mouth to her ear, not missing the way she shivers. “You’re going to accept my help. And you’re going to like it. You might even thank me for it.” I nip her earlobe and lower my voice to add, “Like you did the last time I gave you a hand.”
“Theo is a mature man. This is fine. We will be fine. It was just a pussy. He’s seen lots of pussies.”
The fact that he’s got our child strapped to his chest enhances the appeal by a million. But it doesn’t matter in the least what Theo looks like. I could see him carrying Vivi, singing a song, cleaning my goddamn house, and I wouldn’t notice his physicality at all. I’d just see a man so deeply dependable that I’d want to rip my clothes off and suck his dick in thanks.
“I don’t need a special trophy for parenting. I love it, Winter. Don’t worry. Go enjoy your manicure while you can still get one.” His hand returns to my back as he nudges me toward the door. “But I—” “No buts. You go. I’ll be here. I got this.” I turn and give him a stern stare, one finger up. “I’ll be back before lunch.” He chuckles and winks. “No, you won’t. I booked your massage right after the manicure. Sloane is meeting you there and for lunch. See you later, Mama.”
I’m going to have to deep-clean my own house to keep my hormones in check. My mom used to bug me and say the Virgo in me would stress clean.
Is horny cleaning a Virgo thing? Cause that’s where I’m at right now. I could clean this whole fucking gym and it wouldn’t sate me.
“Because I’m the only one who’s going to be putting his hands on you in those tight fucking pants, Tink.”
“Don’t like what I see?” Her back is pressed up against my chest, pulse vibrating through her body. “Winter, you have no fucking idea what I see. No fucking clue how hard I’m trying not to be another person who needs something from you. I’m prioritizing what life has thrown at us in the past few weeks. I’m trying to give you what you need. But if you think I don’t like what I see, then I’m not the one who needs his head checked.”
