Beautiful Boy: A Heartbreaking Memoir of a Father's Struggle with His Son's Addiction and the Journey to Recovery

by David Sheff

I have glimpses of the grandeur and the miracle, even as I feel the inexorable slide of time. The children growing up, with both the sadness and excitement of it. Mostly the inevitability of it. I feel it all.

Before it was published, I asked the writer Annie Lamott to read the manuscript. I looked to her for guidance. She’s open and inspiring when she talks about her own recovery from addiction. And I love her writing. After reading the book, Annie told me that at that time, reeling from the years our family was in hell, I was understandably focused on the parts of the book that describe the hard times we’d faced: the worst of Nic’s addiction and the suffering we endured. Then Annie said that someday I’d reread the book and see something else. She said I’d be happy I’d written the book because of the stories I recorded that showed that it wasn’t only hell. There was joy and laughter. And it’s true. I laugh aloud when I’m reminded of moments like this one, when we pull into a convenience store, and very young Jasper observes, “It’s not very convenient. It’s closed.” If I hadn’t written the book, would I have remembered that and countless other moments? What about when Daisy describes a “beauteous” day in the mountains or when the three kids are running around the yard, Jasper and Nic with super-soaker squirt guns and daisy using a garden hose to drench her brothers? It saw it when I watched the movie, too. Of course it was devastating to watch, but I laughed, too, and my heart melted when I watched from the seat in a movie theater scenes that reminded me that even at the worst of it there were moments of joy and always love.