Yet some days are excruciating for Nic. I hear it in his voice. He is lonely. He has Randy and good friends, but he would like someone special in his life. He becomes overwhelmed with worry about the future. His moods swing, and he craves drugs. He describes these ups and downs to me sometimes with stoic determination, other times holding back tears. “Sometimes all I can think of is using,” he says. “Sometimes it’s too difficult. I feel as if I just can’t do it. But I call Randy. It really does help if you do what they tell you.”
