Life Is Short And So Is This Book

by Peter Atkins

The trick is people who are most productive tend to say no to things that are unimportant to them and focus on what they believe matters.

I know many people who work super hard to fill up the spaces in their lives, so they won’t have to think. A wise colleague calls this “numbing out”. They may accomplish their goals, but they’re unlikely to be fulfilled or do truly creative work. I know other people who fill their free time with meaningless activities. They’re also busy, but they neither achieve much, nor are they satisfied.

Focusing on what matters means saying no to things that don’t matter. Otherwise, your life becomes cluttered with distractions.

One way I like to use technology to save time is, where appropriate, to eliminate meetings and use email instead. I should emphasize ‘where appropriate’. Email does a terrible job of conveying subtle emotional content, so meetings are more appropriate for team building, for negotiating, for personal conversations, and for any other situation where it’s important to look someone in the eye. But for some things, email is better.

Another way to free up time, if you have the option, is to live close to work. For many people, the amount of time spent commuting is huge, and it tends to be quite stressful and, frequently, not super productive. There are usually good reasons people want to live far from work; it’s often significantly cheaper, and the schools may be better.

Making space in your life by using time efficiently also helps nurture creativity. I find it interesting that people who tend to be the most creative have three things in common: They’re incredibly well prepared in their fields -- they become masters of their domains by practicing for many years, day after day. They spend time deeply focused on solving a key problem or key set of problems, no matter the obstacles. They allow themselves to step away from the problem(s) on which they’re focused, so that insights can come to them in activities such as walking, or looking out on a beautiful scene.

So to make the most of your life, say no to things that don’t matter, work hard at what you love, and occasionally take time away from your core focus to rest so that your mind can be quiet for great insights to come.

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep. -Dale Carnegie

The lesson to me is that you can focus on something going well, or something beautiful, or something interesting -- even amidst terrible times.

I try to put things into two buckets: one I can do something about and one I can’t. The things I can’t do anything about, I try to ignore. There’s no use, for example, being jealous of other people’s success or good luck; it won’t make me any happier. Nor is there any upside in worrying about a bad situation in which I find myself. There is, however, a lot to be gained from considering how I can move to a better place.

Accept that luck and bad luck aren’t evenly or fairly distributed, and you can’t do anything about that.

As Winston Churchill said: Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

sometimes the most important thing to do is to not do anything really dumb. I’ve found this type of inactivity is undervalued in our culture.

I should probably make the distinction here between really dumb things, and routine mistakes made in the course of your life. The latter, as I’ve noted, are certainly painful, but inescapable and useful learning. What do I mean, then, by really dumb things? There are two classes: unrecoverable errors and denial. Unrecoverable errors can screw up your future - like committing a crime and going to prison, or limiting your options by not trying to get the best education available, or making decisions which likely will lead to major health problems or financial destruction.

Character is like a tree, and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

Character, I’ve found, is one of the most important things in life. Reputations can be manipulated in the short term, but people tend to get the reputations they deserve over time. Reputations are your personal brand. They’re influential in how well you do in both your professional and personal lives.

There are four basic principles that have worked well for me: Do what you think is right. Don't follow other people blindly. Be honest and keep your word. Admit your mistakes. If you live your life authentically, keep your word, admit mistakes, and admit what you don’t know, you’...

Inevitably, we take on some of the habits of people with whom we’re closest. The people with whom we associate can have a huge impact on the development of our personalities, particularly when we’re young.

In your own life, think about the values and habits you want to have, and then ensure you choose your friends, colleagues, mentors and bosses carefully. My friends and mentors have made a huge difference in my life, both professionally and personally.

To build trusting friendships, I’ve learned, it’s critical to be true to my passions, and express how I feel and what I want. If I weren’t open and honest, I wonder what sort of friends I’d have? This matters. Real friends - people you trust, respect, laugh with, and can rely on - are a vitally important part of life. No matter how much wealth or fame you accumulate, if you don’t have true friends it’s unlikely you’ll be happy. Sadly I know too many people who have achieved their material goals, but have no friends. As the expression goes: greed is a hole you can never fill (though there are definitely a lot of people who try).

Lack of activity destroys the good condition of every human being, while movement and methodical physical exercise save it and preserve it. - Plato

So if you want to feel good, be as productive as possible, live longer, reduce stress, be more creative, and be happier then you need to exercise regularly.

Another critical element of taking care of yourself is getting a good amount of sleep on a regular basis.

Almost anyone can be a father or a mother, but being a good parent takes hard work, focus, and a great deal of caring.

I’ve found you can choose to let all the things that go wrong in life depress you. Or, you can accept that things will go wrong, try to laugh, and then look at what you can do. There’s a Japanese proverb that gets right to the point: We’re fools whether we dance or not -- so we might as well dance.

A sense of humor is also useful when you make mistakes.

It’s sobering to note that whether you’re able to laugh when things go badly may be an inborn trait.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

To figure out what you want to do, you need to know yourself. If you lie to yourself about who you are, or hide your identity from others, it will inevitably create stress, and it’s unlikely you’ll be either productive or happy. Part of knowing yourself means acknowledging what you genuinely want. If you focus on what other people expect of you, you may impress your friends, family and colleagues, but it’s unlikely you’ll be satisfied with yourself over the long term. You need to understand your values and your priorities.

Finally, focus on your present situation and your future goals. People like to strive to achieve something new. If you are a mountain climber, as a good friend of mine is, you always look for the next peak.

Those who live in the past tend to be unhappy. No matter how significant your past accomplishments may be, they won't keep you satisfied.

“Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness”.

Change will happen whether you like it or not.

However, if you fight change you’ll usually lose -- and you’ll get worn down fighting it.

The lesson I’ve learned is this: Since change is inevitable, the key is learning how to manage it. If you deal with issues immediately and don't let them fester, they won’t become bigger and, ultimately, unmanageable. Problems are much easier to deal with when they’re still small than if you you’ve let them grow over time.

At some points in your life, you may try to drive change. In those instances, I’ve found patience is a huge virtue. Change comes slowly. It’s a hard thing to accept, and people may resist it actively or passively. In fact, in some fields (such as Internet adoption), change often doesn’t come until people leave their jobs and are replaced by a new generation. This principle holds true well beyond the technology sector.

Be curious. Kids naturally are curious and they are able to learn and progress at very rapid rates. I’ve tried to maintain my natural curiosity as I’ve gotten older and I’ve found my life is more interesting as a result.

Read widely. There’s so much wisdom written down and it's easier (not to mention less painful) to learn from others’ mistakes. No one domain or field has a lock on wisdom. I’ve been astonished how much you can learn if you read widely across a variety of fields. I read as much as I can.