It’s not precisely that I want to hide the fact of pain. It’s that I don’t trust what people will do with it. Any grief I show gets weaponized, turned back to cut me twice. Ableism has narrowed the range of emotions I can safely show you. It contours what I feel, and whether I will ever give it voice. I speak of loss only in my most intimate relationships, with the friends and kin who are my bedrock.
