The Time Machine Did It

by John Swartzwelder

“Professor Groggins? I asked. “Yes?” “There seems to be a lot of people in this town with that name.” “Yes. We had quite a laugh about that, me and them.”

That night I wrote the word "yikes" in my diary.

I was sleeping like a baby – waking up every three hours screaming and crapping my pants.

I waited until they were unconscious and settled the matter out of court by pushing them out of a window.