Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

by Stuart Diamond

But there are all sorts of ways to ask questions. A favorite of mine is the tactic of the somewhat dated TV character Columbo: “Help me out here, I’m confused…” It’s a powerful way to ask a question—asking for the other person’s help. Here’s another powerful question stated in collaborative terms: “Please tell me where I’m wrong here.” If they tell you where you’re wrong, you get information that will help you in the next negotiation. Again, the negotiation isn’t over until you say it is. If the other person can’t tell you where you’re wrong, you become more persuasive. I am forever asking people to tell me where I’m wrong, from a colleague to the CEO. It’s a small thing, but remember, negotiations are very sensitive to the exact words used. It is the precision that matters. God, not the devil, is in the details. The more precise you are in communicating your thoughts, hopes, dreams, feelings, and information in general, the less chance there is of miscommunication and a failed negotiation.