Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

by Stuart Diamond

up negotiating against yourself. Paul Kavanagh, a banker in New York City, was having a conversation with his boss at salary review time. “What are your expectations?” the boss asked. Paul said this was an “interesting” question, but could not specifically answer it without first knowing the standards against which salary and bonus were set. His boss described them. “Where on this scale, roughly, do you think my performance fits?” Paul asked. To his astonishment, his boss “came up with a number that was almost twice what I had in mind.” To make sure his boss felt he answered the question, Paul then asked for somewhat more than the boss offered. The boss then felt good about standing firm on his offer. I tend to look at this as an emotional payment, not manipulation. Paul was not trying to be extreme, but only trying to make the boss feel better. Most interesting about this is that Paul had not sufficiently prepared for the meeting, he said. By asking questions, he was able to gain time and information that helped him exceed his goals. Small talk is almost always big talk, even in job