Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

by Stuart Diamond

If you have to use email to communicate, what can you do to minimize problems? Here are some suggestions: • Add tone back in. Start with “Please hear this email as…” And then insert words like “friendly,” “constructively critical,” “sad,” “frustrated,” etc. This increases the chance that the recipient will read the email in the tone that you intended. At the least, it will soften negative reactions. • Never send an email based on your first reaction to one you’ve received. Most people know to avoid this, but too few people do it. You want to get it off your plate or save time. Actually, you will save more time by holding on to it and looking at it half an hour later than by sending it and spending hours or days correcting a misimpression. • Before sending the email, reread it as the other person would read it in their foulest mood. Most emails come across as more aggressive than intended. You should think about the pictures in their heads in the worst case. It will reduce risk. • Do role reversal. Mention something relevant to them first in the email—the equivalent of small talk. “Hope you’ve recovered from your cold.” “Heard you had a lot of snow.” It tends to make you more of a person, and will better approximate a face-to-face meeting where there is more human contact. • Try never to send an email if you are upset or angry. You will say things you didn’t mean to say. Write the email if you wish, store it as a draft, and reread it later. • Try to keep your emails short. ...