One idea is to get them talking about themselves, so they can vent or express their feelings. Try guessing at things that may be bothering them. They will often tell you that you are right or wrong. Ask questions. The mere act of considering a question takes energy from their emotional fit, as with the child at the start of this chapter. Articulating what you think is the other party’s pain, even if you are wrong, will have a calming effect even as they look inward to see if you are right.
