To deal with such emotional violence, first try to use the tools in this book: find their needs, use standards, try for a relationship, use third parties that could influence them, make emotional payments, understand their perceptions, and so forth. They may not be conscious of their behavior and may be willing to listen to you. Or they may be Machiavellian and not care. If none of these work, try to remove yourself from the situation. Don’t be a punching bag. They are trying to hurt you and don’t care about you. Manipulative tactics run the risk of creating instability. When the person being
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