Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

by Stuart Diamond

Goals Are Paramount It’s About Them Emotional Payments Each Situation Is Different Be Incremental Trade Unequally Valued Items Use Their Standards Be Transparent/Ethical Communicate & Frame Find the Real Problem Embrace Differences Make a List

A British study in 2006, “Why Bad Ideas Are a Good Idea,” found empirical evidence that bad ideas prompt creative processes that produce good ideas.

Managers and employees should trade jobs for a few days.

Giannina Zanelli had a roommate who wasn’t doing her share of their agreed-upon apartment chores. Rather than make accusations, Giannina walked her roommate through the process. “Did we agree to share chores?” Giannina asked. “Yes,” her roommate answered. “Have you done your share?” “I don’t have time.” “Do you think I have time constraints, too?” “Yes.” “Do you think I do my share?” “Yes.” “What would you think if I stopped doing my share?” Giannina asked. “It would be unfair,” the roommate responded. “Do you think your not doing your share is unfair?” “Maybe.” The roommate promised to do her share, or hire someone who would. Giannina remained calm and respectful throughout. “The key,” she said, “is getting the other person to apply the same principles to themselves that they would apply to others.”

Whether buying a car or a house, you can tell the other party at the start that you are unable to consider buying something if there’s a deadline, as there is too much stress. It trains people to behave.

“We don’t trust you,” why not try “How do we start to trust one another?”

“What effect do you think this might have on our discussion?”

“Are you trying to find out the (or my) market value?”