Calling in "The One": 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life

by Katherine Woodward Thomas

These types of relationships suck the life force right out of us, draining much of our creativity and personal power, thereby red...

Unfortunately, when we are in these kinds of relationships, many of us will justify all sorts of poor behavior, by convincing ourselves that, ...

However, people aren’t...

They generally don’t respond well when we try to “improve” them. And, the truth is, we are always training people how they need to be with ...

What you tolerate will happen again . . . and again...

If you find yourself engaged in a toxic tie, it’s not the other person’s fault. If you are allowing someone to use you, manipulate you, and treat you poorly, then you must ask yourself what the relatio...

Toxic ties undermine and weaken our vision of what is pos...

The truth is, we hold on to these unhealthy relationships because we’re afraid it’s the best we can do and because we don’t believe we deserve real love.

Releasing them requires the courage that comes only when one’s commitment to love is greater than one’s fear of being alone.

If you are operating under the illusion that you can continue to hold on to people who you know are not good for you, and still create an extraordinary life filled with love and fulfillment, then you are fooling yourself. Toxic ties cost us and they cost us big time. If you are feeli...

BONUS: PRACTICE IN ACTION Make a promise to yourself to give up participating in all toxic-tie dynamics, by righting your relationship to yourself first. Take at least one action to right your relationship to yourself (e.g., if you’ve discovered that the abuse you’ve been tolerating from someone is a reflection of how you’ve been mistreating yourself, take an action that represents a willingness to give up one way that you are being harmful or disrespectful toward yourself). In addition, take at least one action today to set a healthy boundary with someone you’ve been engaged in a toxic-tie relationship with.

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. —Joseph Campbell

The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. —Joseph Campbell

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People want you to be happy. Don’t keep serving them your pain! —Rumi

our wounding actually transforms into what we call our ‘Sacred Wound’—because wherever you’ve suffered the most is where you have the opportunity to contribute the greatest amount.”

Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, Caroline Myss

Many of us even choose our significant others based upon their ability to understand our wounds and their willingness to dance around them and not expect too much from us. This usually works for a time. But what happens if and when the “wounded” party decides to get better? Relationships whose currency is “woundology” don’t have room for people to thrive and become their best selves, because the covert agreement is: If one person is “broken,” then the other gets to prop up their self-esteem either by (1) caretaking them, or (2) being superior to them.

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Many people have a difficult time bringing in a loving relationship, because they are still too invested in being damaged to allow their tragedies to transform into something beautiful. These people will usually continue to attract romantic partners who are also very attached to being damaged and are, therefore, not healthy enough to be suitable life partners.

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Those who hurt you in the past have no authority to determine whether or not you will live a life of love and fulfillment. You are the only one holding that power.

Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl,

In his book The Power of Now, spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle writes, “If you are trapped in a nightmare you will probably be more strongly motivated to awaken than someone who is just caught in the ups and downs of an ordinary dream.”

For those of us who have had to endure incredible losses and sorrows, life demands an awakening of a much more profound nature than those who have not. We must find lessons and weave meaning out of the sorrows we’ve had to bear. For many of us have been challenged to live out circumstances in which our hearts have been splintered and broken in two. Our task is to find our way through the ruins so that we may, as the Zen saying goes, “allow our hearts to break open.” It is here that one not only comes to love again, but actually comes to love in a way that heals the entire world.

What you have is a reflection of what you believe you can have, and your relationships are a perfect mirror of your relationship to yourself.

Love attracts love.

We don’t necessarily get what we want in life—we do, however, get what we give our attention to.

We get what we believe we can and should have.

Not what we think we believe, or that which we’d like to believe, but, rather, that w...

The Law of Attraction is simply this: the more intense your feelings around something, the sooner it will come to you.

That is why it is more important to talk and think about what it is that we want in our lives as opposed to what it is that we don’t.

Like attracts like. Whatever the conscious mind thinks and believes, the subconscious identically creates.

In order to live balanced and fulfilled lives, we all need to be adept at causing results in our lives both by being empowered to take actions and also through the ability to draw toward us those things that we truly want.

“If you think you can’t do something, you’re right.”

If you end up involved with people who can’t seem to commit, look to discover whether or not you are committed to yourself.

What can’t come through you, can’t come to you.

A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror. —Ken Keyes Jr.