Unexamined (or dis-integrated) memories cause all kinds of problems for any adult trying to live a healthy, relational life. But for parents, these hidden memories are especially dangerous, for two main reasons. First of all, even when they’re very young, our kids can pick up on our feelings of dread or distress or inadequacy, even if we don’t realize we’re experiencing them. And when a parent is upset, it’s very difficult for a child to remain calm and happy. Second, implicit memories can trigger responses from us that cause us to act in ways we don’t want to. Old feelings of being left out,
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