The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

by Daniel J. Siegel

it’s very important that kids learn about and understand their feelings. But it’s also true that feelings need to be recognized for what they are: temporary, changing conditions. They are states, not traits. They’re like the weather. Rain is real, and we’d be foolish to stand in a downpour and act as if it weren’t actually raining. But we’d be just as foolish to expect that the sun will never reappear.

Notice what happens when you’re at a party with friends. If you approach a group that’s laughing, you’ll probably find yourself smiling or chuckling even before you’ve heard the joke. Or have you noticed that when you’re nervous or stressed out, your kids will often be that way, too? Scientists call this “emotional contagion.” The internal states of others—from joy and playfulness to sadness and fear—directly affect our own state of mind. We soak other people into our own inner world.

Too often we forget that “discipline” really means “to teach”—not “to punish.” A disciple is a student, not a recipient of behavioral consequences.

This little bit of etymology blew my mind!

When you’ve become the active author of your life story and not merely the passive scribe of history as it unfolds, you can create a life that you love.