The key to helping Amanda was for me to attune to those real feelings gently. I didn’t point out abruptly that she was hiding, even from herself, how this important person in her life had hurt her. Instead, I allowed myself to feel what she was feeling, then tried to communicate from my right brain to her right brain. Using my facial expressions and posture, I let her know that I was really tuning in to her emotions. That attunement helped her “feel felt”—to
