Hamartia

by Scarlett Drake

I get that same desire to mark him, wanting to see him bruised and red from my mouth and it takes a degree of strength to pull back and not give into it.

“So tight too…fuck, baby…”

“Let me in, baby,” I whisper against his ear.

The clenching around my cock as he comes, turns my mind to white noise and my body into one giant dick.

Oh

“Are you in love with her?” she asks, surprisingly calm. I blink. “What? Who? No, it’s not like that. There is no…her. It’s more than that…it’s…me. It’s…” Him.

“If you make me late for my shopping appointment I will not do as I planned to do later. Which is too rude to say in front of others.”

“If he hurts you, I will ruin him.” Oh, he is going to hurt me, Hyung. It is only a matter of time before he hurts me. He may already have.

I try not to think about what it might feel like to be fucked by both of them at the same time,

Jae is so real for that

Wondering if you told her I was a mistake.” I didn’t want to be that to him. God, please not to him. Because I don’t understand how I could ever be anything else to anyone else now.

“But when I opened that door and saw you standing there…” I take a deep breath. “I felt relieved. Happy. Warm and happy. When I am with you, I feel… happy.” And enough. “Happier than I can remember feeling for a long time.”

I just need him to say it’s what he wants too and I’m all the way in.

I realize it’s the first love song I’ve ever written.

Big scary feelings swirling in my stomach and my chest. Feelings I know the name of, but which shouldn’t be there. Not yet. Not this soon.

Any choice in which he’s an option, I’ll always choose him.

“Home can be anywhere, I think.”

I don’t think I’d need that much if I had him. He’s kind of everything…he’s enough. And I’d be enough too, you know?”

I think this must be how women often feel in relationships. A little lost. Like men are a different species where the behaviors and patterns are sometimes predictable but sometimes not.

I met him the very same night I met Camille, and yet his was the number I wish I’d gotten at the after show.

But now I know how his pretty pink cock would look through the material as it hardens and how his perfect firm ass would look spilling out of the back of them, it’s almost worse.

“It was a kilt,” he says airily. “A traditional garment from Scotland.” “What were you wearing underneath this traditional garment from Scotland?”

“I cannot wait to feel your cock here again…my fingers are good, but not as good as you.” I let out a groan. “Fuck, I miss your hole, baby. So tight and warm…it’s perfect.”

I realize that it’s somehow become one of my favorite sounds in the whole world. Lee Jaehyun’s laugh.

He’d already told his mother about us, about me, like I was important and he was not ashamed.

I want to kill whatever and whoever made him feel like that, except I’m worried it’s me.

The fantasy of fucking him against one of the mirrored walls blasts itself into my mind, except it’s more powerful than any of the others because this time it’s filled out with scent and smell and taste and touch. This time I know what he’ll sound like when I make him come all over the reflection of himself.

“Are you in love with her?” My eyes are closed and all I can see is him. “Yeah, I’m in love with someone else.”

“I’m really glad I’m here with you today,” he says with an easy smile. “You do not know where I am taking you yet.” I laugh and he grins adorably. “You, know…I don’t actually care.”

He looks tired and so fucking young—like a kid. One who’s been worked too hard for someone else’s profit—

1D vibes

pathetically hoping to hear his footsteps running after me or the sound of his voice shouting my name. I don’t. It’s the loudest silence I’ve ever heard.

I’d love you enough for both of us.

“I love you too,” I whisper to no one. “In another life I would have chosen you.”

What I want has never felt possible so it has never been something I’ve thought much about.

It’s a picture of Manhattan Beach pier, of the very same spot that I’d stood waiting for him all those weeks ago. The second message comes through a second later. I’ll wait for you.

“I used to think that the world finding out who I was would be the worst thing that ever happened to me. That it would be the end of everything I had worked for, that it would mean that I could not do what I loved anymore, and that I would never be happy again. But then you left me in Seoul and it hurt so much. It felt like that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me.”

@ljh:

After five years, he’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“Please suck my cock.” “On one condition.” He half groans half laughs, bringing his hand to jerk his own dick, impatient. I bat it away. “Fine,” he snaps but there’s no heat in it. “What is your condition?” “Marry me.”

I’d expected I’d have his dick in my mouth and him nodding an emphatic yes at this point.