But I know that my hardness is more than this. My impatience and unkindness stem from deeper roots. Seven years of marriage ending in divorce—and an ensuing hot relationship that left me singed—have made me tired of the traumas of women and of love. Perhaps it is a fear that I am unwilling to face. Perhaps I have traded my quest for love for the quest to finish what I set out to do. I don’t really know, but these are among the secrets that I’m unwilling to share with Catherine, despite her soft French voice and lovable smiles. I only want to sail, write, and draw.
