The Unmaking of June Farrow

by Adrienne Young

In those last years, Gran had all but lived inside of her own broken mind, shut away from our world for weeks at a time. It was one thing to miss her when she was gone. It was another to miss her when she was still here, in this house with me. For the last few months, I’d found myself longing for the end as much as I’d dreaded it.

“You may have ruined my life, June. But first, you gave me one.”

I’d never felt fear like that. Not ever. And I didn’t think there was any way to ever come back from that explosion of light that had birthed a universe inside of me when she said that word. Mama.

Mama. That word contained multitudes. In an instant, it had wiped me from the face of the earth.

“Listen to me.” He took my face in his hands, the timbre of his voice deepening. “I wouldn’t change any of it. If I could walk through a door and undo all of this, I wouldn’t. Do you understand?” I stared at him, afraid to speak. “You and Annie are the loves of my life,” he breathed. “And I wouldn’t change it.”

For the first time, I was truly afraid of the idea of leaving. I had loved Mason for who he was, but also because he was the only one who’d ever chosen me. But this—this was a home I’d built with my own two hands. I’d made this. It was mine. There was a life on the other side of the door. A history. A strange disappearance. But in this life, I had something that I’d never had before.

This was a homecoming.

I’d been wrong about the June who came through that door five years ago. I’d hated her for the choice she made because I thought it was cruel. I thought it careless. But this aching love that was breaking ground inside of me didn’t feel selfish. It felt brave.

Annie Bird. I could hear the name ringing in my head. I’d called her that, and looking at her now, I could see it. There was a sparkle in Annie’s eyes that hadn’t changed in seventy-two years. That golden-silver hair. The rise of her cheekbones. It was all there. In the face of my daughter.

All that time, she remembered me. She was just waiting for me to remember her.

And then I spoke my vows into the summer wind. That I’d love him forever. That I would always, always come back. That no matter what, I would find him.