Not Your Ordinary Housewife: How the Man I Loved Led me into a World I Had Never Imagined in Aussie Readers

Nov 30, 2012 Mish rated it liked it

Shelves: australian-authors

Nikki Stern, 27 years old artist, left her family home in Melbourne to travel to Amsterdam where she met another artist, Paul, and the couple fell instantly in love. In their early stages of their relationship Paul seemed like a decent and charming man, very talented, and had a clear vision of where he’d like see his artistic career prosper. As far as Nikki was concerned, sex with Paul wonderful; fulfilling, satisfying and intense, nothing like she’s ever experienced before. But little by little Nikki Stern, 27 years old artist, left her family home in Melbourne to travel to Amsterdam where she met another artist, Paul, and the couple fell instantly in love. In their early stages of their relationship Paul seemed like a decent and charming man, very talented, and had a clear vision of where he’d like see his artistic career prosper. As far as Nikki was concerned, sex with Paul wonderful; fulfilling, satisfying and intense, nothing like she’s ever experienced before. But little by little Paul would persuade Nikki to become sexually adventurous; initially it would involve minor touching and caressing in public, to bolder and riskier display of affection in the public view. It was after Nikki married Paul, moved to Melbourne and had their first child where her whole life had changed. Paul took Nikki into a world of porn where she became famously known in the porn film industry as the ‘Horny Housewife’.

Nikki tried her hands in almost everything to do with the sex industry but what I found the most disturbing to read was what she was required to do in a porn films and what it was doing to her. The sex is raw, brutal and mentally demanding. On many occasions, I honestly didn’t think I could stomach it or go on further. What made it even more difficult was hearing Nikki struggle tremendously through a session. She never got use to this type of sex and felt repulsed and degraded. But irrespective of how she felt, (or what I thought of it) she was a major success. She was swamped with fan mail demanding a piece of her; used underwear or pubic hair. The list of demands went on and on, and Paul ensured that they were being met.

What made me go on was the need to know why she stuck with it for so long. At one stage the couple were going through financial difficulty trying to make a living in Melbourne and with a new family. Plus she described Paul as cunning and manipulative and if he didn’t get his own way he would become verbally abusive. Initially, I do believe that Nikki was blinded by love, and didn’t know what to do about their situation or how to handle his outburst. But I had doubts later on. She had many opportunities where she could’ve easily walked away; she became financially secured, she became a stronger woman and demanded changes in her relationship and her involvement in the business, and Paul became less depended on her. But yet she stayed.

Being adopted, Nikki was a strong believer in having a father figure in their children’s lives, and in keeping the family together. But at what cost? I don’t necessary agree with this, but I do understand that people have different family values and needs. However this is not a normal family situation. She’s jeopardised the welfare of the children by having an unstable father in their lives, she had porn (film and photos) in the family home and conducting an illegal business in Melbourne. I thought she would wake up to herself when she nearly lost the children, but she just went back on to doing it all again.

All I kept on asking myself was ‘WHY would you do that?’ Her priority seemed all screwed up and I couldn’t make sense of it. Perhaps there were other reasons but wasn’t willing to say or reveal.

All in all I had mixed feelings about Nikki motivations and her honestly. However it was an interesting insight into the sex industry but it’s very unpleasant and disturbing to read at times.
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