Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) in Around the World in 80 Books

Aug 16, 2012 Jim rated it did not like it · review of another edition

Shelves: fiction

Let me start out by submitting an explanation, or apology if you prefer, for my having taken the trouble to read this book. I was in Costco, you see, and they had a truckload of these books on the table there. They were being snatched up at an amazing rate by customers and, not to be outdone, I tossed one in my basket. It escaped my notice at the time that the customers who were buying the book happened to be middle-aged women.

It was an evil impulse; I have a general aversion to popular modern l Let me start out by submitting an explanation, or apology if you prefer, for my having taken the trouble to read this book. I was in Costco, you see, and they had a truckload of these books on the table there. They were being snatched up at an amazing rate by customers and, not to be outdone, I tossed one in my basket. It escaped my notice at the time that the customers who were buying the book happened to be middle-aged women.

It was an evil impulse; I have a general aversion to popular modern literature and find most of it disappointing. I am sure that the Devil must have had something to do with my tossing the book into my cart and paying real money to take it out of the store. I couldn't not read it, as I have a self-imposed rule that requires me to finish any book I start. This rule is now under review.

Soooo - I did finish, and met Anastasia,who just might be the most annoying character introduced to the readers of the world in the last two or three decades. I won't go into the story line; it must be common knowledge by now. Basically a billionaire boffs a bint he met during an interview for a school paper or some such garbage. Big news there! What billionaire doesn't boff pretty much whomever he pleases? Money is the greatest aphrodisiac in the world. Let's face it, if Christian Grey had been a school janitor, the book wouldn't have sold a dozen copies no matter how hard he whipped that nubile young ass. So the plot is predictable, the dialogue repetitive and lame (I never want to see the words gasp, breathed, inner goddess, subconscious or holy crap again).

I believe the author was trying to produce two books in one: a romance and a pornographic tale. She came up short on both counts. I was left with the impression that the book was written by a more or less prudish schoolmarm who looked up a bit of BDSM on google and parlayed it into a tale to titillate doughy old housewives. And it worked: the book is sold in its hundreds of thousands to women who rate it four or five stars and I can't imagine why! It can't be for the writing, so it may be that some people actually get some kick out of the rough sex bit. That in itself is mystifying, because I'm sure that if their husbands were to come home and slap them in their frumpy old snatches with riding crops there would be hell and alimony to pay.

This is basically a Harlequin Romance spiced up with some pretty ho-hum sex. It's a woman's book; if you have anything dangling, stay away from it.

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Oct 07, 2012 Nadine in NY Jones rated it did not like it

Shelves: did-not-finish, only-reading-because-of-the-buzz, authors-i-don-t-ever-want-to-read-a

Sigh. Yes, I want to know what everyone is talking about. So, finally my number was up and this came in for me, on hold at the library. I read the first chapter. Wow the writing sucks! I was prepared for that, but, still. Wow the writing sucks! There are so many other BETTER books waiting to be read ...

*

I got to chapter 6, and wishing I could assign negative stars. Sadly, 1 star is as low as I can go. That's it. If you've read this book, feel free to email me how the series ends. Is there some Sigh. Yes, I want to know what everyone is talking about. So, finally my number was up and this came in for me, on hold at the library. I read the first chapter. Wow the writing sucks! I was prepared for that, but, still. Wow the writing sucks! There are so many other BETTER books waiting to be read ...

*

I got to chapter 6, and wishing I could assign negative stars. Sadly, 1 star is as low as I can go. That's it. If you've read this book, feel free to email me how the series ends. Is there some awesome twist I'm missing?

As I was reading, I started compiling a list in my head, "50 Reasons I Can't Stand this Book."

1. The names. OMG the names! Christian Grey?? Anastasia Steele? [Steel Grey??????? URGH] Oh COME ON these are the kinds of names that I would come up with back when I was in 7th grade and toying with writing a novel. These are the names that sound romantic to a 12 year old. (I hope I’m not offending anyone named Anastasia or Christian.)

2. The writing. UGH THE WRITING. It is so so so boring!!!

3. All Ana can think about is what a control freak Christian is. At no point am I shown or even told WHY she likes him. All I know is he has grey eyes and she gets a tingle when she touches him. I am sorry, but never in my life have I felt a tingle when I touched someone, other than when we accidentally transfer static to each other, which is never all that fun. If she likes him just because he’s attractive, then surely she would have liked the other attractive man-friends in her life (Jose and Philip)? That just made no sense to me. I’m willing to let it slide, because, romance. Except that I was just left not liking Christian at all. Which meant I didn’t give a shit about the romance.

4. Christian is a “control freak” in the most stereotypical and lame-o way – real control freaks are not like this!!! They are soooo much more complicated than this! They control people so subtly and so well that the people don’t even realize they are being controlled at first!

5. The first kiss Was Not Hot. AT ALL. It just sounded painful. I read a lot of cheesy and trashy romance (just check out my “read” list to see how cheesy I get), and I’ve read a lot of very hot first kiss scenes. This was not one of them. Not by a long shot.

6. Are there actually graduating college seniors out there who are not the least bit concerned about getting a job??? She is in finals week of her very last semester and she very casually mentions once that she applied for a few job. That’s it? That’s the level of her concern??? Maybe I’m out of touch, but I found that so completely distracting. It’s a jungle out there!!! You’re going to need a salary!!!

7. Okay, that's it. I didn't care enough to even come up with 7 things.
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Sep 15, 2012 Whittney rated it did not like it

Since it's fan fic inspired by the Twilight series, it really has to be judged with Twilight in mind. I can see what James was going for, but the execution wasn't there. Also, there was something very immature about the language and flow. It's the same feeling I get when I hear teenagers talk about sex. It's not hot. It's icky. ...more

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Jun 25, 2012 Rachel rated it did not like it

Shelves: 2012-reads

this fulfilled some need I had to read drivel... so poorly written it's inexcusable! not interested in reading the remaining two. ...more

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Oct 26, 2013 Colleen Chi-Girl rated it liked it

Shelves: us-no-amer

I had to read it because it had gotten so much hype. I think it's probably for younger (20's and 30's) audiences? I found it outlandish and predictable, and condescending to women, although there were certainly aspects (especially in the beginning and middle) that kept me very interested. It meandered and flattened out, and found I didn't care what happened in the end. ...more

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Dec 27, 2014 Scott Flicker rated it liked it

Shelves: completed-2015, romance, erotica, readwomen-2015

I enjoyed even though it's not what I expected. I was expecting more along the lines of a toned down story of O but it's way different. The relationship between the characters was the unexpected part and not the sex. Looking forward to the rest of the series. ...more

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