In a Heartbeat: Sharing the Power of Cheerful Giving in Around the World in 80 Books

Aug 29, 2010 Tanya rated it it was amazing

Shelves: 2010

This is one of those books I cannot stop thinking about because it has changed my way of interacting with the world. After reading the Blind Side and then seeing the movie, I felt compelled to learn the story of the Tuohy family as told from their viewpoint.

(p 21) "One of our deepest beliefs is beautifully captured in the Second Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, or 2 Corinthians. The seventh verse of the ninth chapter of 2 Corinthians reads: 'Each one must give as he has decided in his hear, This is one of those books I cannot stop thinking about because it has changed my way of interacting with the world. After reading the Blind Side and then seeing the movie, I felt compelled to learn the story of the Tuohy family as told from their viewpoint.

(p 21) "One of our deepest beliefs is beautifully captured in the Second Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians, or 2 Corinthians. The seventh verse of the ninth chapter of 2 Corinthians reads: 'Each one must give as he has decided in his hear, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.' ...we came to believe that a cheerful, spontaneous offering, no matter how small, could be increased and made powerful by God. Our faith helped us understand that it was up to us to be generous and make ourselves available to b used by others. We also became convinced that in order to really give, we had to get our hearts right. We had to learn that it was important to let go of any particular agenda...we often approached charity too formally...If we worrried less about the procedures and methods of giving and concentrated more on a giving stare of mind, we might have more to offer than we knew."

In summary, "do small things with great love."

In addition to this mission above, they also believe in what they call, "The Popcorn Theory," which translates to "You can't help everyone. But you can try to help the hot ones who pop up right in your face." Essentially, you notice others and acknowledge their potential and value as a person.

The Tuohy family believes that true character is measured by how they treat other people and this is the lesson they try to live by daily and impart to their children. Additionally, they believe they were born to make a difference and that leads to their choices to live for something greater than just themselves, which in turn becomes a blessing not only for others, but for them too. (p 60)

They deeply analyzed their thoughts about what it meant to be a cheerful giver and came to realize, "we too often confuse the power of giving with the effectiveness of giving. Giving was powerful by itself; it needed no help from the recipient to be menaingful. Giving worked on the giver's heart and made it expand; that was the most important thing." As Sean Tuohy succinctly states, "My responsibility is to be happy with the act of giving without expecting a result." (p 112)

Another area they believe strongly in doing right, is when it comes to children. They don't want any children to be wronged because children are often dealt a difficult situation and they don't yet have the tools to handle it and are not yet able to be empowered as the decision-makers with the financial ability to make a change that will lead them down a better path. "When we see children--children who have previously been invisible--and see them not just with our eyes but with our hearts and in our souls, it's one of the most critical gifts we can give." (p 262)

I think that in hearing from their daughter, Collins, you can see that the Tuohy's live the example they have thought about because their own birthed children never felt resentment about taking in another child to be adopted. "God puts things and people in your life for a reson. Usually it's to show you a path," according to Collins. She described that she and her brother, S.J., were so comfortable with themselves, about who they were, and about how their parents felt about them, that they felt secure and knew they had a healthy, whole family. That enabledd them to give even more and be blessed even more.

The story really describes not only the times surrounding their life since first encountering Michael Oher, but also their family backgrounds that helped shape the people they became as adults too. The Tuohy's have a long history of helping others. If you believe in the law of attraction, the people around them were some of the most remarkable givers I've heard described too. For example, Miss Sue, Michael's tutor has a heart of gold and endless passion for teaching, "nothing she'd ever done was as rewarding as watching those young men's minds emerge." She not only believed that caring teachers make a difference, but she proved it, "when someone, anyone, was willing to give cheerfully of their emotional energy and time to a kid, it was a game changer."

In the Tuohy's final words, they want to be sure you understand their main message, "the person you just walked past is the one who could change your life. So, every once in a while, stop and turn around. Find out about that person....Love, we've learned, can come into your life in a heartbeat. But the people who are your family aren't alwasy the people who are blood related to you, and loveing someone unconditionally is a lot easier than we make it out to be. Give love and you will always get it back. That's our story, that's our message." (p 263-4)

Now when I go about the community, I really look at others and try to really see them and be in the moment with them. I try to give them the best me I can, even if it's just a smile that we share, though I try to make small talk with salespeople more often than before. And I do find myself smiling more anyways, particularly with my own children as well as those I coach. Their interaction with me could be more special than I realize in that moment. I could really be making a difference and not even knowing it. Though I do believe that I'm also blessed by giving more cheerfully, the best that I can.

I highly recommend this book. I also think it would be worthwhile to check out their foundation at www.makingithappenfoundation.com. If you were touched by the movie, I really think this book will touch you "in a heartbeat." ...more

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