From the Bookshelf of Baltimore County Public Library Summer Reading BCPL SRC …

Everything I Never Told You

Celeste Ng

Start date: July 2, 2015

Finish date: July 5, 2015

Why we're reading this: Every once in a while you read a book that resonates deep within your soul. It doesn't happen often, but …more
[close] Every once in a while you read a book that resonates deep within your soul. It doesn't happen often, but this book was one of those for me. As a teacher and parent, I felt this book sent a strong message about the possible negative consequences of misunderstandings and too-strong expectations within a family. Unreasonable expectations can put too much pressure for children to handle at a young age. Parents shouldn't expect their children to become miniatures of themselves or make up for all of their own mistakes as a child. An important role of a parent is to be supportive, encouraging their children to pursue their own interests and personal goals in life. Children should be given the latitude to learn their own mistakes. Through the lack of communication within the family in this book, it also shows how important open communication and trust is in a family. The author clearly shows how this lack of communication and understanding among family members can lead to misunderstandings and unreasonable expectations. This is a powerful debut book for the author, Celeste Ng. I look forward to reading more by her in the future.

Find A Copy At

Libraries

Group Discussions About This Book

No group discussions for this book yet.

What Members Thought

Oct 20, 2019 A Book Vacation rated it really liked it

This is the type of novel that makes me scared of being a parent, but at the same time, shows me a lot of what not to do--pushing my own agenda onto them, playing favorites, etc., though it's possible to do that unawares, as Marilyn and James do. This novel chronicles the lives of all the Lee's, seamlessly switching between the before and after, and it is both poignant and heartbreaking. I feel for them all, and I want to smack them, too, but it's always easier to judge from the outside looking This is the type of novel that makes me scared of being a parent, but at the same time, shows me a lot of what not to do--pushing my own agenda onto them, playing favorites, etc., though it's possible to do that unawares, as Marilyn and James do. This novel chronicles the lives of all the Lee's, seamlessly switching between the before and after, and it is both poignant and heartbreaking. I feel for them all, and I want to smack them, too, but it's always easier to judge from the outside looking in, isn’t it? Why is it so often that parents try to live vicariously through their children, and why don't people feel empowered enough to say what they mean? Obviously, humans have many deep layers and experiences that create their waking selves. This is a rich text, one you can really dive into psychologically. Mystery novel, however, it is not, and I see a lot of people had the same idea that I had when going into it, probably from the first line of the synopsis on the back of the book. While the question of how/why Lydia died is one woven throughout, the majority of the novel focuses on the development and characterization of the Lees, and not so much trying to figure out what happened that fateful night, but what lead up to it.

Told through a series of flashbacks, readers intimately get to know each of the Lees, learning their secrets and fears, and ultimately, laying bear the struggles of life in the racially charged and discriminatory time period of the United States from the 50s to the late 70s. Lydia, her older brother Nath, and their younger sister Hannah are Chinese Americans struggling to fit into society, with a Chinese American father and a Caucasian mother. As both parents, James and Marilyn have their own deep-seated resentments against the world and each other, they subconsciously apply pressures to their children that even the strongest of wills would find overbearing. Nath looks for solace in the fact that he'll be leaving home for Harvard in the fall, Lydia's fear of losing her only confidant pushes her into the arms of the neighborhood "bad boy" Jack, and quiet Hannah silently watches on, wishing someone, anyone, would pay attention to her.

This novel is a study is psychology, and it’s a very poignant tale of love and betrayal, one that I found to be extremely real and riveting, although bleak and heartbreaking.

To see my full review: https://wp.me/p1jhaj-69Z ...more

4 likes · Like · see review

Jun 25, 2015 Laura Novobilsky rated it really liked it

Liked it a lot. Liked how it handled parents' own expectations and dreams for themselves being transferred to their children, children's desires to please their parents, interracial families, the bonds between siblings, etc. ...more

1 like · Like · see review

Oct 16, 2019 Devon rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: 2019, book-club___last-monday

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

Like · see review

May 21, 2024 Melissa rated it really liked it

Shelves: audiobooks, ultimate-50-state-reading-list

I've been meaning to read Celeste Ng for a while now, and to celebrate AAPI month I'm so glad I finally did! This story is a close study of one multi-racial family in a small town in the 70s, and is so complex with all the intricacies of each person's experience and how they influence each other (without each person even realizing necessarily how they are influencing the others' lives). A tragedy unfolds, family history is revealed piece by piece, and Celeste Ng masterfully shows how generationa ...more

Like · see review