In the Dream House in Crazy Challenge Connection

Sep 16, 2020 Jamie (TheRebelliousReader) rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: e-book, borrowed-from-overdrive, look-at-the-pretty-cover, for-a-challenge, all-of-the-feels, 2020, lgbt, read-on-my-kindle, memoir-autobiography, nonfiction

4 stars. This was beautiful and dark and so sad. But I really enjoyed it. It’s an important story, one that isn’t talked about a lot unfortunately. Machado’s recounting of the abuse she faced from an ex-girlfriend was so heavy and heartbreaking. Her writing is gorgeous and the way that she describes the house that she and her ex shared, on top of the abuse she suffered it was like a horror film. I was uneasy a lot of the time while reading this but it’s such an important read.

While I did really ...more

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Jan 20, 2020 Chaitra rated it liked it

Shelves: abuse, non-fiction, lgbt, memoir, experimental

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. 2.5 stars, rounded up. I’m not going to criticize the subject matter, only the handling of it, and only in the book. I think it comes down to whether or not you like the writing of Carmen Maria Machado. I didn’t like her first book at all, and only read this one because it seemed to be tackling an important topic. Which it was obviously, only, for some reason, before I read the book, I had pegged the author to be the Woman in the Dream House, the abuser of the story. So to figure out that she wa 2.5 stars, rounded up. I’m not going to criticize the subject matter, only the handling of it, and only in the book. I think it comes down to whether or not you like the writing of Carmen Maria Machado. I didn’t like her first book at all, and only read this one because it seemed to be tackling an important topic. Which it was obviously, only, for some reason, before I read the book, I had pegged the author to be the Woman in the Dream House, the abuser of the story. So to figure out that she was in fact the abused was a little disconcerting. But that’s me being weirdly dissatisfied about something that I had mistakenly made up in my head.

The thing that really put me off this book is exactly that which everyone is raving about - the fragmenting of the story, the structure. I could understand why it's being hailed, but I could not get behind it. I found something performative about the whole thing, it took away from what she was trying to say. There is a section in which she’s gone through some horrid shit and she tells herself she’s done, she’s going to tell everyone, etc. but she says within an hour or so she’s already polishing her story. When I encountered that line, it made sense to me. This book felt very close to that. It seems to have worked for pretty much everyone though - maybe I’m easily distracted by bells and whistles.

I also felt, maybe because of the way the book is structured, that it took away all her younger self’s agency. Because the victimized ‘you’ does nothing but sob about her situation. Was there not a single word said? Not a scream? Did she really endure endless abuse, when practically nothing - not even the sex - was working for her? Why exactly was she so powerless? Why did she just let the woman leave her helpless 7 times in New York City? Once was okay, second time is bad, by the third time you’d probably be out of the relationship or better prepared considering you’re not financially dependent on your abuser. That is only one instance, the whole book gives young Carmen a whole lot of tears and no voice. (And I don't mean that she just wouldn't talk back to the woman, she also has no conversations with her friends, her people, her support system). It's... unexpected. ...more

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Jan 15, 2021 Lori rated it liked it

I read widely but memoir is not something that usually attracts my attention. I heard about this book on a podcast or book tube and thought I would give it a try. I am so glad i did. First, it is important to talk about domestic violence in every form and from every angle. I believe that people need to be able to see themselves represented in art and daily living. When they cannot see themselves, how can they know what is possible, whether good or bad. I am glad she wrote this and they way she s ...more

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Jan 26, 2021 Carissa Brown rated it it was amazing

Shelves: non-fiction, cover-lover, adult, feminism, memoir-biography, borrowed

Carmen puts herself out there in this memoir. There seems to be a gap in people's beliefs that a same-sex relationship can be abusive. There has always been a gap in people's understanding that mental abuse is as harmful as physical abuse. Carmen did an amazing job of letting us inside her head and seeing the mental break down of her self worth and how another person can affect our mental health. ...more

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