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The Purity Myth: How America's Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women

Jessica Valenti

Why we're reading this: Because it's the truth. This best selling book by Jessica Valenti is a critical look at abstinence-based …more
[close] Because it's the truth. This best selling book by Jessica Valenti is a critical look at abstinence-based education, father-daughter purity balls, and the puritanical belief that the only thing a woman can be is a virgin or a whore.

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Apr 02, 2012 Anna rated it it was amazing

Great book. It's well-researched and well-written from the perspective of a highly knowledgeable non-academic, which is I think the best of both worlds; the notes and recommended reading sections are especially rich, but the writing style isn't absurdly dense. Additionally, it has a strong and unashamed point of view.

I appreciated Valenti's wide scope--although the title gives an excellent synopsis of her main points, this isn't just a book about virginity. She points out some of the most distu Great book. It's well-researched and well-written from the perspective of a highly knowledgeable non-academic, which is I think the best of both worlds; the notes and recommended reading sections are especially rich, but the writing style isn't absurdly dense. Additionally, it has a strong and unashamed point of view.

I appreciated Valenti's wide scope--although the title gives an excellent synopsis of her main points, this isn't just a book about virginity. She points out some of the most disturbing elements of the rape culture, most of which isn't a big surprise to me but I still found some new horrifying tidbits, such as the fact that in 2006, Playboy listed Lolita as one of the 25 sexiest novels ever written. She also has a wonderful chapter about "manliness," quoting a male activist/writer who says "We men can settle for being men, or we can strive to be human beings."

Basically all of this book resonated with me, but perhaps nothing greater than one of her concluding chapters, which says "we're stuck talking about what a shame it is that young women are having sex, when the truth is, it isn't a shame at all." I had a telling experience the very day I began reading this book; a colleague sat down with me at the lunch table and proceeded to tell me a story about tenth-grade girls gossiping about another tenth grade girl who had visible hickeys. My colleague asked me, "What should I do? Tell the girl that people are talking about her, or say something to the [abstinence-loving] school counselor?"

I was astonished at the very question. Although I think adults can all agree that hickeys are kind of a bad fashion statement, the inherent moral accusation behind the question really disturbed me. I think Valenti would be 100% with me on this; if we really want to recognize the agency of young women, we have to separate their sexual choices from their worth as human beings. Anyway, that's tangential, but an illustration of why books like this are so necessary & should be read widely. I really, really recommend it. ...more

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May 22, 2014 Abby rated it liked it

I agree with the central premise of this book but found the writing style somewhat immature (especially the endless footnotes) and the overall effect not as strong as it could have been. It took me a long time to get through this book, I just wasn't that compelled to keep reading. ...more

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