Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger in Reading with Style

May 11, 2019 Ann rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

Shelves: 2019, rws-spring-19

At first I couldn’t get through this because I was SO FUCKING PISSED and I worried I would stroke out or something. Really, the conclusion should come at the start. It helps.

My male boss is unconsciously sexist, and I was starting to get REALLY MAD about it but I also thought it must just be in my head. I mean there was tons of evidence but surely I was just emotional. I took to reading this at work, displaying it prominently on my desk, and not backing the fuck down. Now that I’m not worrying a At first I couldn’t get through this because I was SO FUCKING PISSED and I worried I would stroke out or something. Really, the conclusion should come at the start. It helps.

My male boss is unconsciously sexist, and I was starting to get REALLY MAD about it but I also thought it must just be in my head. I mean there was tons of evidence but surely I was just emotional. I took to reading this at work, displaying it prominently on my desk, and not backing the fuck down. Now that I’m not worrying about my interpretation of his shit, I have so much power. And oddly enough it’s made it easier. I’m not prioritizing his comfort above getting my shit done, and it’s freeing. I’m not as agitated because I’m not doubting myself.

The book alone did not get me there (therapy FTW), but it did help focus me. At first, it was just overwhelming frustration, sadness, and anger. Things just seemed to be getting worse, on the national level and personally. I was seeing the bullshit that I had looked away from, and it hurt. So much. And reading about how women fought, and lost, and fought, and lost.... fuck.
But eventually... the “why even try” feeling faded and instead a sustainable anger took its place. I’m not going to make it easy, motherfucker.
Also by the end, the vastness of the problem made it easier to face rather than harder. There’s nothing I can do to fix this... I’m just one person. At first that was a reason not to try, but that’s the bullshit that keeps you down. Bu we don’t make progress in just one massive act by a single person. Never. So instead of changing the world like some superhero, the goal is to push back, to refuse to play nice, to take steps and do a damn thing, any damn thing.

My first damn thing was to simply tell a man in power “no”. Nothing dramatic or dangerous for me. It was just an unreasonable deadline, but one that me and the other woman on the team would have scrambled to meet (as we’ve done every month for a year). And it was all the more unreasonable because male colleagues were not doing their part. Us women were expected to stay late and make things happen anyway.... and I said no. And gave a reasonable timeline.
And the next time, I said no, not until these men deliver. No, no no.
And it’s been slow and some of them men are throwing hissy fits, but it’s working. And it’s just the start. ...more

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