From the Bookshelf of Q&A with Josh Lanyon…

Finding Zach (Finding Zach, #1)

Rowan Speedwell

Start date: March 1, 2011

Finish date: March 31, 2011

Discussion: Book of the Month Club

Find A Copy At

Libraries

Group Discussions About This Book

Showing 2 of 2 topics — 4,118 comments total

Book of the Month Club

* Candidates for Next Month's Read
By Josh · 3043 posts · 623 views

last updated Feb 21, 2024 10:37PM

February 2025: The Lemon Drop Kid
By Karen · 15 posts · 20 views

last updated Jun 14, 2025 04:47PM

showing 3 of 3 topics view all »

What Members Thought

Sep 13, 2012 Tiya Rosa rated it really liked it · review of another edition

Shelves: m-m, this-gave-me-the-sads, awww-touching, better-than-expected, hurt-comfort

You know that thing where you open a book intending to just read a couple of chapters - halfway through at most - and you end up not wanting to close the damn thing 'cause - being a nosy git - you just have to find out what happens next, but you're tired and sleepy and guilty as hell 'cause you're supposed to be working on beating a deadline and not angst-ing over some fictional gay guys and their HEA, so you end up rushing through the ending and now you feel like if you'd just waited until you You know that thing where you open a book intending to just read a couple of chapters - halfway through at most - and you end up not wanting to close the damn thing 'cause - being a nosy git - you just have to find out what happens next, but you're tired and sleepy and guilty as hell 'cause you're supposed to be working on beating a deadline and not angst-ing over some fictional gay guys and their HEA, so you end up rushing through the ending and now you feel like if you'd just waited until you had enough sleep and not freaking out over your unfinished work, you'd have been able to focus more and given your undivided, unguilty attention to all the awesomeness the book had to offer?

*deep breath*

Yup. Happened with this book and I hate myself for it. This would have been a 5-star read if I hadn't been so damned itchy to get to the ending so I could go to sleep and then I end up staying up anyway trying to write a decent enough review to explain why I was an asshole in the first place and ruined my own reading experience.

Finding Zach is an intense, cry-athon of a novel about childhood friends finding each other after one MC's soul-crushing experience. The hook here is not really the romance though that itself is well done. It's the first chapter and how we're introduced to the MC and the previously mentioned soul-crushing experience that will grab the reader, suck their brains out, and feed it to them. It's not mind boggling so much as it's so pathetically heartbreaking and sick that you can't help but be morbidly interested while your heart is on the floor in thin julienned pieces.

Zach was fifteen when he was kidnapped while at the airport meeting his aunt in Costa Rica. He was in captivity for five years before he was found after an unrelated rescue - bone thin, physically and sexually abused, and - after having been treated (in almost every sense) a dog - could only express himself through barks, whines, and whimpers. He returns home and with the help of the people who love him - very slowly - gets his life back.

It's a slow and painful process, the life taking Zach had to do. It also felt realistic and raw and was so very well written - PTSD after that experience would be a bitch and a half. Zach is a likable character and while he might think that his being fucked up after the abuse makes him an asshole, he still came out not making excuses so much as explaining why. What I mean is he didn't go the easy route and played the victim card when it suited; the horrors in his past were just the reason for his issues now - not excuses. It made me like him more because he wasn't bending over backwards to get my sympathy.

David was also a great character although with all the intense getting-to-know we had with Zach, meeting him didn't pack as much punch. He was perfect for Zach, though. Sure, the history between them might have made it harder since they had to reconcile the before Zach with the now Zach, but that history also made it easier since Zach already knew he could trust David.

Don't think that the whole relationship was all lying in couches talking to shrinks or looking over the distance analyzing feelings, though. These guys also had enough chemistry to, well, do whatever it is chemistry is used for - make their own table of elements or something. Point is, there was a lot of playful moments to combat the serious, gut wrenching scenes and the sexy times are so hot like you wouldn't believe. I mean, imagine one MC introducing frottage to the delighted surprise of the other MC. Guy topped prolly half of Colorado but never discovered frotting. Scene was hot, y'all.

I also loved the fact that the insecurities and angst in this one aren't just because they need to talk more or one MC is an asshole that has learned to walk and talk, but due to valid and understandable - yet never overdone - hangups and issues. I like a good old fashioned misunderstanding that never should have been, but sometimes a girl just wants to read about a real fucking hurdle in a relationship and a valid reason to walk out of a restaurant for - and seeing him touch pinkies with another woman does not count, romance novel heroines!

The flashbacks were also written in such a way that did not require its own chapter or an introductory "ago", but came and went all sneaky and ninja-like and stress-free.

So overall a five-star read. But like I said, idiot here, so I rushed through the HEA, felt like I didn't really embraced it - being rushed and all - and now have to rate the book with four stars 'cause that was how the entire experience was for me. I'd prolly be able to explain better when I've had some sleep, but I wouldn't count it on it. Suffice it to say, if you're in the mood for an intense read with its own light moments and like your MCs all damaged and gorgeous and shit, this one's for you. Just make sure you have enough time and sleep 'cause this is defo a five-star read if you're not as big of an idiot as me. ...more

5 likes · Like · see review

Jun 21, 2012 Silkeeeeeereads rated it really liked it

Shelves: m-m-erotic-romance, m-m-military-romantica, mm-slave, mm-rape-dark-reads

A story about how true love between two people can overcome this ugliest of obstacles. The beginning is a dark, slave/rape story. If you can hang through that, the rest is overcoming everything with love.

1 like · Like · see review

Apr 13, 2012 Alaska rated it really liked it

Shelves: men-in-uniform, modern-world, hurt-comfort, dub-and-non-con, challenge-reads, shelf-a-thon-reads

4.5 stars

I like to read books with traumatized characters because it is so much harder to write than a lovey-dovey relationship. You see the talent of an author in such books. If they can walk the small line between realistic character development and love-can-cure-everything plots where you wait in vain for good conflict solution.
Luckily, Rowan Speedwell could pull it off. She made Zach suffer beyond anything a normal human being should (or can?) and when he got back it was not just half a year 4.5 stars

I like to read books with traumatized characters because it is so much harder to write than a lovey-dovey relationship. You see the talent of an author in such books. If they can walk the small line between realistic character development and love-can-cure-everything plots where you wait in vain for good conflict solution.
Luckily, Rowan Speedwell could pull it off. She made Zach suffer beyond anything a normal human being should (or can?) and when he got back it was not just half a year of therapy and everything was peachy. I really liked it that she took her time with him and let the healing process go on over years (because that's what it would take). There were no shortcuts to a happy end, no making-it-easy-for-David. It is a long way to overcome what happened to Zach (if at all possible) and love it simply not the answer to everything. But it can help and I'm really glad the author picked this way.
And I liked that you got a glimps of the things that were done to Zach in actual scenes without repeating them again and again. They were not overdramatized or written for the purpose of showing violence for itself. I hope you get what I mean.
I liked that Zach despite all was not broken but could find his way back into a normal life. And David was so wonderfully patient and understanding and still had to deal with all in his own way. I loved when they fought, when they misunderstood each other because that's what really happens in life.
But I hated Brian. I hated his guts! That has more to do with this "The world deserves to know"-crap that reporter always pull. Because, no...the world doesn't need to know. If Zach would have wanted to keep what happened to himself and tell no one (outside family and maybe friends) then it is his own business. If I were David I would have punch Brian in the face in the bar at the end. I guess Brian was meant as a more or less honest character who really cares for Zach but I just couldn't believe him. He wanted a good story. Period. I won't give him more. Everytime he said something I had the strong urge to punch him.
But that has nothing to do with the quality of the book. Just wanted to rant a little ;) ...more

Like · see review