A Little Life in Reading the Chunksters

Mar 12, 2015 Amy rated it really liked it

This is not a book that you read. This is a book that you immerse yourself in. That you stagger and lurch and flounder through. That you wallow in, and then you periodically come up gasping for air, looking around in a daze and wondering how you got to wherever you are. This book is emotionally exhausting. And at many (too many) points you might find yourself asking why -- why are you doing this to yourself? Why are you forcing yourself to read about sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional and p ...more

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Aug 11, 2020 Cindy Newton rated it liked it

Shelves: owned-books, to-read-in-2016

Okay! I'm ready to process this book. First of all, I loved the writing. Yanagihara is a phenomenal writer! I marked some passages for the beauty of the prose, and others for what I felt were insightful glimpses into the nature of mental illness, something I am always trying to understand. I loved the non-linear style of the narrative, feeding us bits and pieces of Jude's backstory. I think if we had been given his whole history in one big infodump, it would have a) been overwhelming and b) detr Okay! I'm ready to process this book. First of all, I loved the writing. Yanagihara is a phenomenal writer! I marked some passages for the beauty of the prose, and others for what I felt were insightful glimpses into the nature of mental illness, something I am always trying to understand. I loved the non-linear style of the narrative, feeding us bits and pieces of Jude's backstory. I think if we had been given his whole history in one big infodump, it would have a) been overwhelming and b) detracted from the horror of it. So much horrific info at one time has a numbing effect on you--after the first few blows, the rest would have faded into white noise. I was completely captivated by the story and had a hard time putting the book down. That is always a good thing!

Okay, on to the things I struggled with. One is the character of Jude himself. In the early pages of the book, I got a definite Perks of Being a Wallflower vibe. Perks of Being a Wallflower is one of those seminal YA books that gives most teens some kind of epiphany into what they think is human nature, or something. It's kinda like The Outsiders in that regard. When you read a book that gives you all the feels at a young age, you never really lose that sense of wonder it imparts. Even when you go back and reread it as an adult, part of that earlier experience bleeds into your current read. It's very hard to divorce yourself from the nostalgic aspect. I, however, read it very far into adulthood and was unimpressed. The main character seemed like an aimless, highly impressionable youngster with no remarkable qualities other than his suggestibility. The thing that reminded me of A Little Life was the universal adoration the main character of Wallflower inspired in everyone he meets, for no discernable reason. That is how I felt about Jude. So many people in his life adored him, to the point of risking their careers, their relationships, even their lives for him. I get that he was smart and nice . . . but why? I didn't see what it was about him that made them so self-sacrificial. We, as the reader, know how much of himself he is concealing. To me, that kind of relationship, that deep of a commitment--the kind that makes you ready to take a bullet for someone, is built on a bond. That kind of bond is created by vulnerability, by opening yourself up to someone and sharing the very essence of yourself. My closest friends don't know every detail about me, but they know what makes me tick. They know my fears, my insecurities, my hopes. If all you share with a person are discussions of current events, or art, or books, or food tastes, work stories, etc., is that really enough to create that bullet-taking kind of bond? Throughout the book, we are repeatedly told that Jude shares nothing of his childhood, nothing of how he feels about himself, nothing of the pain-inflicting things he does to himself. How can he share his fears, hopes, and insecurities without addressing any of those things? Yet Willem tanks a serious romantic relationship because of Jude, the doctor probably endangers his license by treating Jude on the sly and not committing him, and the law professor actually adopts a 30-year-old student (weird in itself) without REALLY knowing him. I'm not saying that this ruined the book or was a fail--it just strained credulity for me. I didn't quite buy it.

Another thing I struggled to accept was Jude's ability to function at the level he did. I'm not saying this isn't possible. I'm not a mental health expert. I know the cutting was a coping mechanism that helped him manage the rest of his life. I'm just not sure I buy that he was able to do it so flawlessly. Is it really possible that someone that broken and mentally damaged would be able to pull off that high-stress, high-profile kind of position and NEVER have a meltdown at work, NEVER betray himself in a meeting or other work setting?

Something that annoyed me was Jude's refusal to seek help from therapy. This became a vicious cycle argument in my head as I read, with one part of my brain going "WHY won't he talk to someone?" and the other part responding "it's because he's so damaged and can't make himself act rationally." The first part would say, "Okay, okay, I know he's damaged. I know emotions are not ruled by logic," and then, "but he's supposed to be super intelligent and highly educated! Can't he research the benefits of therapy? I mean, he makes himself do other things to accommodate his illness. Why can't he do this?" and we make the loop again. I was ultimately unconvinced by this, though. I understand that Jude wouldn't want to share those horrible things with people he cares about and watch them possibly recoil in horror and never look at him the same way again. But why not a therapist? The therapist is a stranger, someone whose opinion supposedly doesn't matter to him. The therapist is also sworn to secrecy and can't reveal the information to anyone. Jude spends the whole book apologizing to his friends for being himself and trying to think of some way to make up to them for having to tolerate him. Yet the one thing they ask of him, actually beg him to do, is to go to a therapist and he says "nope." Why wouldn't he be willing to at least TRY, for their sakes? I mean, he's actually sitting there with the therapist and refuses to talk!! Wouldn't his intellectual side have SOME ability to act? I have dealt with mental issues within my own family and have learned that logic and reason have zero effect on people's emotions in those situations. But I also know, from experience, that people with issues CAN make themselves do things that are not supported by those voices in their heads. Jude is portrayed as so loving, so selfless, that I have a hard time understanding his refusal to even TRY therapy, for his friends' sakes, even if he believes it won't work.

The big event near the end really blindsided me (no pun intended). I could see that the description of the day was leading up to something, but I assumed that, like everything else, it would be about Jude. I didn't cry (because I'm tough cookie--or I'm dead inside!), but it was a sad event. After that, I experience Jude self-destructiveness overload, and was thinking "just die, already!"

The book, to me, raises the interesting question of whether a person can be too broken to be fixed. I wonder, if Dr. Andy and Willem had manned up and committed Jude to a long-term hospital stay, would that have actually helped him? Or was the damage to his psyche just too deep for him to ever be able to find peace with it? I'm giving the book 3 stars because while I wasn't whole-heartedly swept away by it, it was beautiful writing and inspired quite a bit of deep thought.

I'm including links to two of my friends' reviews because they are too good to be missed!

Glenn Sumi's Review

Ashley's Review ...more

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Feb 09, 2017 Alana rated it liked it

It took me from August until February to finish this. Mostly because I kept putting it down for long stretches. I was interested in where the story was headed, but it just didn't draw me back in once I set it down. I feel like I need to create a whole other genre bookshelf for this one called "emotionally draining and depressing."

I had the same problem through the novel that I did at the start; I had a hard time distinguishing between the various characters, and the characters don't really chang It took me from August until February to finish this. Mostly because I kept putting it down for long stretches. I was interested in where the story was headed, but it just didn't draw me back in once I set it down. I feel like I need to create a whole other genre bookshelf for this one called "emotionally draining and depressing."

I had the same problem through the novel that I did at the start; I had a hard time distinguishing between the various characters, and the characters don't really change through the novel, they stay with basically the same types that they start with in college. I don't know ANYONE who stays that static through their lives. Even Jude, the center of it all, with all the drama associated with him, doesn't really change, he just allows more of his inner self out throughout the story, but he doesn't really grow.

While some of it was insightful (was Yanagihara trying to process through a loved one/family member's depression and anger over tragic events, or did she ever face it herself?), most of it was painfully, agonizingly emotional and torturous to read. It was SOOOO long and just felt like it was sprinkled with enough pleasant moments to keep the reader hoping for something better. It was depressing and made me angry. Andy must be the worst doctor ever, for his lack of professionalism and resolve and his friends were enabling cowards, though they did try to love him in the best way they knew how, however unimaginatively. I think they didn't love him ENOUGH to give him the love he needed, to make him help himself out of the horrible pit he had been thrown into by the world.

Am I glad I read it? I don't feel like it was a complete waste of my time, but I would not read it again and there are very few people I would recommend it to. Not something to dive into if you want a pick-me-up, for sure. VERY adult, extremely difficult situations to read, way beyond PG-13 or R rating for content.

I want to call it about a 2.5 but will round up to 3 stars, because some of the writing really was very poetic and beautiful, if painful. ...more

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Nov 29, 2017 Laura rated it did not like it

Shelves: boooooooooks, fiction

I spent most of this book hating it, hating the poorly drawn and charmless characters, hating the "lifestyle porn," the Manhattan/Martha's Vineyard setting, especially hating the author, the (lol) style editor at the NYT style magazine (has there ever been a job so hateable?). The only reason I'm giving it an extra star is the crescendo of bleakness that ends the book. No redemption for these ciphers of upper class achievement, just a prolonged slide into mental and physical ruin that all the cu ...more

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Jan 17, 2022 Jen rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

I don’t really know how to rate and review this book. The trauma is deep, the pain and loss is azure and deep and impacts every character and interaction in the book. But the love of these characters for each other is also deep and unwavering and real.

Jude is obviously the main character and the glue that binds everyone else together and all the narrative is built to support his relationships with everyone else but I found some of the most poignant interactions to be those between the other cha ...more

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Jan 29, 2015 Drew rated it it was ok

This is a 2.5 book for me, rounded up to 3.* There were many good things about this book but overall it was a disappointment. Did we really need such detailed explanations of the abuse Jude suffered as a boy? Would so many people go to such lengths to help someone who wouldn't help himself? Did anyone copyedit this book? (There were a few really glaring errors that can't be explained away as authorial style.) OTOH, the writing was beautiful. It's probably a good description of someone trying to ...more

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