From the Bookshelf of EVERYONE Has Read This but Me - The Catch-Up Book Club…

Educated

Tara Westover

Start date: May 1, 2019

Finish date: May 31, 2019

Discussion: CURRENTLY READING

Why we're reading this: Group pick for May ‘19 - Modern Classic/Popular
[close] Group pick for May ‘19 - Modern Classic/Popular

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What Members Thought

Jan 09, 2020 Denise rated it it was amazing · review of another edition

The reviews of this book are more telling of the people that read the book than they are about the book itself. They range from people who can't believe people live like this to people who are like, "yeah, we did that too." None of what she says strikes me as particularly unbelievable, honestly, and at the same time, I'd say her upbringing was an extreme version of what a lot of people experience. People who are born, raised, and participate in our dominant social culture are completely unaware The reviews of this book are more telling of the people that read the book than they are about the book itself. They range from people who can't believe people live like this to people who are like, "yeah, we did that too." None of what she says strikes me as particularly unbelievable, honestly, and at the same time, I'd say her upbringing was an extreme version of what a lot of people experience. People who are born, raised, and participate in our dominant social culture are completely unaware of all the other ways Americans live. Nor do her stories of abuse strike me as unbelievable. People keep asking why no one helped, and I think there are a lot of kids who get the crap kicked out of them regularly and no one cares or they feel that to intervene would result in them getting pushed out of the children's lives where they could do even less good than they already are. Also, people saying it didn't add up that they had things like a computer and were able to replace their cars when they didn't have outside incomes. I mean, poor people don't have no money, and you can buy a cheap car for $500 and fix it if you know how. People expressing all this disbelief have clearly never been poor.

Tara's attitude at school doesn't surprise me either. Part of her would want to reject her family values and another part would likely want to rebel against this new world by holding stubbornly to those values because it would force her to face all the ways her childhood was dysfunctional.

Being trapped between two worlds is painful and difficult, and I didn't grow up the way she did - we had medicine and school was a priority, but there was no lack of gaslighting and abuse. The process she went through of reconciling the person she wants to be with the person she was taught to be is hard stuff, and telling a story about your family seems particularly challenging because everyone's version WILL be different. Memories are different, and we contextualize them with what they meant to us. Tara's story of her family won't be the same as anyone else's, but part of becoming who you are is learning to trust and believe yourself. She comes to that understanding and accepts that other people might tell you stories about yourself so they can control you. The way you take control back is by telling your own story.

I wonder if she would have been able to tell her story if her parents hadn't shut her out. By her family closing that door, it allowed Tara to "solidify" her thoughts about her family. If that was ongoing, the memories would have continued shifting and it would have been harder. By cutting her out, they saved her the difficulty of doing so.

I also thought that her upbringing ironically made her better suited to higher education. K-12 education and honestly, much of undergraduate education is fact focused. Tara's life had been woefully scarce on facts, but she also hadn't been forced to conform to the thought patterns of her classmates - her family yes, but to modern Western civilization, she had a set of new eyes. That kind of curiosity and outsider perspective is critical to masters and doctoral students. ...more

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Mar 30, 2019 Daniel Gomez rated it really liked it

Amazing story and insight into that segment of the population. Writing also very good. If I could give it 4.5 stars I would.

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Nov 07, 2021 Caitlin rated it it was ok

I don't get the fuss. Perhaps I'm just not a memoir/autobiography sort of person—I can't actually think of one I've liked off the top of my head. ...more

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