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Split Infinity (Apprentice Adept, #1)

Piers Anthony

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Oct 25, 2014 Jessica rated it did not like it

Shelves: science-fiction, fantasy

I was thinking about this book the other day and wondering, "Is this the most sexist thing I've ever read?" The answer: quite probably. When was in my early teens I discovered Piers Anthony, because, let's face it: he WAS the fantasy section at Waldenbooks for the entire 1980's. I really loved the first few Incarnations of Immortality and the Xanth books, though they were definitely a bit naughty. Those books were also full of buxom women and people hopping into bed with total strangers, but the I was thinking about this book the other day and wondering, "Is this the most sexist thing I've ever read?" The answer: quite probably. When was in my early teens I discovered Piers Anthony, because, let's face it: he WAS the fantasy section at Waldenbooks for the entire 1980's. I really loved the first few Incarnations of Immortality and the Xanth books, though they were definitely a bit naughty. Those books were also full of buxom women and people hopping into bed with total strangers, but they made it seem . . . well, not in innocent fun, but there was a certain schoolboy fantasy element that made me roll my eyes, but keep reading because of the cleverness of the books.

And then I read this one.

I mean . . . honestly.

The premise is that there's a world of advanced science, Photon, wherein dwells our hero, Stile. Stile is a serf, but even serfs are allowed to compete in the games, which are sort of like American Gladiator competitions, and Stile is the best. Oh, and the serfs aren't allowed to wear clothes. So, yeah. Everyone except the elite is naked all the time. They're just walking around, with their junk hanging out. Which at first made me giggle, and then made me annoyed. There's absolutely no purpose for it. It's strictly a plot device to allow Anthony to describe the breasts of every woman in every scene. Oh, and to allow Stile to get turned on by women in clothes, because it's so weird and erotic to him. Also, he works with horses. Yep. Naked dude, taking care of horses. No shoes, no pants, no . . . just no. Anyway, Stile the Naked discovers that there's a parallel world to his called Phaze, where there is no science, only magic, and his counterpart there has been murdered. They want to murder him, too, because he could potentially cross over and take the other guy's place, and the other guy is a wizard. So Stile goes off to be a wizard and then things get stupid.

What? You thought it was already stupid that there's an entire planet that contains advanced scientific gizmos but only the wealthy are allowed to have pants? Please! That's the first chapter or so!

No, the stupid thing is the plot of this book.

So, Stile is a serf on Photon, but on Phaze he's a wizard, and not just any wizard: he's an adept. They're like, the BEST wizards. Also, they're identified by color. but no one can tell Stile which color he's supposed to replace. Because apparently having one of like, seven, super wizards murdered isn't newsworthy enough for someone to notice which one it is. So the bulk of the book is him traveling to the demesne of each adept, to see if anyone's at home or if it's empty, which means it's his.

That's it. Really.

That's what he does. Each demesne (and by the way, if you, like me, find that word super irritating, brace yourself, because it's on every friggin' page) is really kooky and reflects that adept's personal magic style, so it gives Anthony the chance to create really elaborate castles with really bizarre booby traps around them. But booby traps don't bother our hero! He's the champion of the naked games! This guy can literally do anything. Also, hot women, androids, and shapeshifters fall at his feet and let him grope their globular boobies. All. The. Time. But sadly, he's short. He thinks constantly about his shortness, and how he has to be better than everyone else at everything else, because they mock him for being short. He's the only short guy in either world, apparently.

Anyway, he travels around, and he meets a unicorn and there's an endless rumination on horse poop. I'm not joking. Horse poop. It's like Stile's thing, horse poop. And he tames the wild unicorn, and then she turns into a hot woman, and he tames her too, if you know what I mean. *rolls eyes* And they travel together. And he goes to all the magical color castles, and I swear to you, it's the LAST ONE that turns out to be his, by some incredible coincidence.

And then it ends.

And if you want to know what else Stile the No Longer Naked gets up to, you have to read the rest of the series. But honestly, even as a teenager, I was not up for more nakedness. It's a sad day when a book full of naked people can't hold a teenager's interest. Also, when even a teen girl who can't say the word sexism aloud (because it starts with s-e-x!) realizes that a book is incredibly sexist, you've got a problem. The women in this book are unable to even dress or feed themselves without Stile. And they're all shorter than he is. And . . . I just . . . ugh. ...more

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Feb 18, 2010 Thomas rated it liked it

Shelves: 2012, 1999, fun, fantasy, science-fiction

When I was 13, I read a lot of Piers Anthony, and when I say “a lot,” I mean a lot. The guy was pretty much all I read, from the Xanth series to the Incarnations of Immortality series, and even the Battle Circle and Bio of a Space Tyrant series, but my favorite of his books from that time would have to be the Apprentice Adept series. I read them again in my late 20s and thought they held up pretty well, so when I got on a bit of a nostalgia kick recently, I thought I’d give these another go, jus ...more

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Aug 16, 2016 Bryn rated it it was ok

Shelves: books-i-read-in-2016, myth-unicorns

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here.

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Jun 01, 2020 Kate H rated it really liked it

Shelves: goodreads-fiction

I enjoy Piers Anthony;s writing style and characters. This is not my favorite book or series of his but I do still quite enjoy it and I would recommend it.

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