From the Bookshelf of Vampires, Weres and Fae! …

“What is it?” Stephanie whispered.
“That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.”
She looked at Skulduggery. “You don’t know what it is, do you?”
“I told you what it is, it’s a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.”

“What is it?” Stephanie whispered.
“That, my dear Valkyrie, is what we call a monster.”
She looked at Skulduggery. “You don’t know what it is, do you?”
“I told you what it is, it’s a horrible monster. Now shut up before it comes over here and eats us.”

“Skulduggery,” the tall man said eventually, his voice deep and resonant, “trouble follows in your wake, doesn’t it?”
“I wouldn’t say ‘follows’,” Skulduggery answered. “It more kind of sits around and waits for me to get there.

“Stephanie, I’m not altogether sure you’re respecting my authority.”
“Yes, I’m not.”
“I see. Okay then.”

“Are you serious? There’s an eight-armed octopus man?”
“There’s a whole colony of octopus people,” he said as they approached the door.
“Really?”
“Good God, Stephanie, of course not. That would be far too silly.”

“But anyway...” He looked over at the setting sun, then looked back at Stephanie. “If you hear any screaming,” he said, “that’ll be me.”

Stephanie’s laugh proved infectious, and Tanith was soon on her knees. Skulduggery and Ghastly just looked at them.
“What’s going on?” Ghastly asked.
“I’m not entirely sure,” Skulduggery answered.
They looked at Stephanie and Tanith and shook their heads. “Women,” they said together.

“So you won’t keep anything from me again?”
He put his hand to his chest. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“Okay.”
He nodded and led the way back to the Bentley.
“Though you don’t actually have a heart,” she said.
“I know.”
“And technically, you’ve already died.”
“I know that too.”
“Just so we’re clear.”

“ – There’s something about you, Valkyrie. I’m not quite sure what it is. I look at you, and...”
“And you’re reminded of yourself when you were my age?”
“Hm? Oh, no; what I was going to say is there’s something about you that is really annoying, and you never do what you’re told, and sometimes I question your intelligence – but even so, I’m going to train you, because I like having someone follow me around like a little puppy. It makes me feel good about myself.”

“Can you get over yourself for just a moment?”
“If only that were possible.”
“For a guy with no internal organs, you’ve got quite the ego.”
“And for a girl who can’t stand up without falling over, you’re quite the critic.”
“My leg will be fine.”
“And my ego will flourish. What a pair we are.”