The Glass Castle in Our Shared Shelf

Jun 17, 2013 Jessica rated it it was amazing

Shelves: memoirs-bios

Amazing, incredible book about a crazy, unique family. I just finished it and am still digesting it... It was just so crazy, her family moved from place to place, and always at the drop of a hat. You know, sometimes I would find myself relating to her - but then other times it was just insanity that I could not imagine! Having to leave your house in the middle of the night and only being allowed to bring one thing with you! Your dad tossing your cat out of the car because it was making too much ...more

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Oct 12, 2009 Heather rated it really liked it

Shelves: nonfiction, adult

This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers. To view it, click here. This book became more and more compelling as I made my way through. It was an amazing account of what I hope is a unique upbringing (meaning, it was so tough in many ways that I hope it's rare). I really liked the nuanced way the parents were described - you could easily see how they really fell short, but also how they occasionally were able to come through, etc.

I would have liked to see more of an epilogue/follow-up at the end--Where are they now? What was her interpretation for the origins/re This book became more and more compelling as I made my way through. It was an amazing account of what I hope is a unique upbringing (meaning, it was so tough in many ways that I hope it's rare). I really liked the nuanced way the parents were described - you could easily see how they really fell short, but also how they occasionally were able to come through, etc.

I would have liked to see more of an epilogue/follow-up at the end--Where are they now? What was her interpretation for the origins/reasons for her parents' behaviors and choices? (The only allusion to this was the kids' brief speculation about dad - whether he was sexually abused by their grandmother.) Were they mentally ill? (Bipolar disorder?) Were they severely damaged by their own upbringings? How could their judgment have been so terribly off at times? (the example that stands out most to me: buying the Cadillac.)

I thought it was interesting that it ended w/her dad's death and a follow-up of that. I thought it showed how impactful his relationship w/her was - whether for better or for worse. It was clear during the book though that his relationship w/her was the most positive of anyone in the family. I found myself wondering if there was/is still part of her that kind of idolizes him or something like that. She did make it clear that she had an extended grief process when he died.

I also found myself wondering where all of their anger was - I mean, I understand that they wanted to preserve positive images of their parents, but there were some pretty aggregious moments, such as when the dad stole the money they were saving for New York, or when she realized the parents had wealth (land, ring, etc.) they were choosing simply not to use. I'm one of the most empathic people in the world, and if I were in their situation, I think I'd feel pretty angry!

I also found it remarkable that they were able, except for Maureen (who did seem to have some organic mental health problems), to succeed in New York, at careers, apparently even at relationships. It made me think about the positive aspects of their upbringing that the parents contributed (reading, thought-provoking conversations, etc.) and when/whether/how that can overcome the negative.

Overall, it definitely seemed to be an (extreme) illustration of what we often say in the therapy world - that parents all have positive and negative, and that it's important in growing up to reconcile all of it. (i.e., it's helpful for most people to acknowledge all aspects of their parenting, not just idealize or hate them.) No parent is ever all good or all bad - it's all on a continnum. Obviously it can fall closer to one end or the other. I'm sure many people would debate about where these parents fall, but it does seem clear that they did provide at least one or two positives. In no way do I feel that excuses their other choices--but it leaves me wishing for more about how/why the parents got that way. In their own strange and possibly mentally-ill way, they did seem to want what was best for their kids. They just often made terrible judgments about what that would be (and, of course, their father was dependent on alcohol).

Update: I just found this lengthy interview of the author that touches on some of the issues I raised above.
http://gothamist.com/2005/05/27/jeann...

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