Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1) in Overdue Podcast

Jul 11, 2012 Louise rated it liked it

Well that was fun!

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Sep 04, 2012 Christine Gibb rated it did not like it · review of another edition

After swearing up and down that I would never in a million years pick up this book with the intention of actually reading it, I finally caved in to the hype and publicity. While my decision to read Fifty Shades of Grey may not have been the smartest decision I’ve ever made, I at least did one thing right in that I checked it out of the library rather than spend my hard-earned money on this garbage.

Anastasia Steele is a college student who goes straight from being a virgin to having mind-blowing After swearing up and down that I would never in a million years pick up this book with the intention of actually reading it, I finally caved in to the hype and publicity. While my decision to read Fifty Shades of Grey may not have been the smartest decision I’ve ever made, I at least did one thing right in that I checked it out of the library rather than spend my hard-earned money on this garbage.

Anastasia Steele is a college student who goes straight from being a virgin to having mind-blowing orgasms every single time she has sex (like THAT’S realistic), is gullible, needy, and seems to be suffering from some sort of split personality disorder, observed by the constant input from her inner goddess and subconscious. By the time I got to the end of the book my inner goddess wanted to kick her inner goddess’s ass.

Christian Grey is a self-made multi-millionaire who, for being the CEO of a company, doesn’t seem to spend a lot of time at the office, is abusive, creepy, obsessive, stalker-like, bipolar, and is obviously using BDSM to cover up childhood issues.

The reader gets to watch as these two geniuses engage in what can only be described as an unhealthy and dysfunctional relationship. I honestly found zero endearing qualities about either of these two characters. I didn’t like either one and really felt like not only did they deserve each other, but I would like to smack both of them around for a while. In the Red Room of Pain, of course.

This book is nothing more than Twilight fanfiction, and just like Twilight we see an extreme overuse of certain words and phrases. I wasn’t keeping an exact count, but I think Ana said “crap” 59,000 times, blushed or flushed 97,000 times, and bit her lip 134,000 times. That may be exaggerated but I think you get my point.

Speaking of phrases, every time I had to read “Laters, baby” I wanted to jam an ice pick into my eyeball. You are grown adults, dammit. Can you talk like adults please?

Apparently this takes place in 2011 and we’re supposed to believe that Ana has never had an e-mail address before Christian buys her a computer? Umm, I went to college in the early 2000s and not only did I already have my own e-mail address by then I was also given one by my school. Details like that bother me.

Now about the ridiculous contract that Christian wants Ana to sign. If a guy ever presented a sex contract to me that dictates my obedience, sleep patterns, the food I eat, the clothes I wear, how many times a week I should exercise, my personal hygiene and beauty, my personal safety, and how I behave in general, I would tell him where he could stick his contract, and I wouldn’t think twice about it. I don’t care how rich, good looking, or well-endowed he is. The term “control freak” doesn’t even begin to describe Christian Grey.

Just a little anatomy lesson for Ms. Steele: what you refer to as “down there” and “the apex of your thighs” is your vagina. It’s perfectly fine to call it what it is. You’re welcome.

So, bottom line, I don’t understand why this book is as popular as it is. It definitely doesn’t live up to the hype. It’s not well written and there’s really no character development. The two main characters are unlikeable at best, and their relationship is an absolute train wreck. There is nothing sexy about it.

I will state for the record that my dislike for this book has nothing to do with BDSM. If BDSM floats your boat, good for you. It’s not my cup of tea, but I hold nothing against those who consent to participate in that lifestyle.

My recommendation is skip this book. You’re really not missing out on much. If you feel compelled to read it, check it out of the library and keep your expectations low.

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Aug 12, 2012 Robin added it

Shelves: read-in-2012

I'll admit, I found Fifty Shades of Grey amusing in a campy way. The writing is horrible and often boring, but if you take an MST3K approach to it, it can be fun. My main quip, beyond the book's lackluster plot, characters, etc., is that it isn't particularly kinky, even with its talk of contracts and play rooms. I was expecting to be shocked, but the only times my jaw dropped or eyebrows raised were at the nauseating descriptions of the title character's supposed appeal. ...more

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Dec 27, 2012 Julie rated it did not like it

Shelves: overhyped

The only thing shocking about Fifty Shades is that someone could develop a following with such poorly-written hack. James' vocabulary is basic and unimaginative; she uses, reuses, and overuses the same few phrases. The main character is always "clambering" everywhere--clambering into bed, clambering into the shower, clambering into the car, the plane, her pants (the word "clamber" appears 22 times). "Holy crap," "holy shit," "holy fuck," and "holy cow" appear over 100 times. This is touted as a ...more

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May 21, 2012 Marisa rated it it was ok

I'm kind of disappointed in this book. I heard people raving about it on the Dr. Oz show about how it reignited the sex drives of middle aged women who've lost interest for sex, but I'm unimpressed. There was really no plot and the writing had problems. On the other hand, I can't say that I absolutely abhor this book. It was just unrealistic and messed up. Still contemplating reading the second book. ...more

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Oct 24, 2012 Mia rated it it was ok

Shelves: 2012-books

Oh man... I finally gave in and read this idiotic book... I'm embarrassed to even put it on my list... just thought it was poorly written and kinda stupid... definitely don't get the hype. ...more

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Nov 24, 2011 Sarah rated it did not like it

Shelves: 100-in-2012, romance

This book was terrible! The characters were ridiculous, the "plot" absurd, and worst of all (for a "romance" novel) booooooooring. Needless to say, I won't be reading the rest of them. ...more

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