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Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe

Gavin de Becker

Start date: May 8, 2011

Finish date: June 4, 2011

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May 23, 2011 Danielle rated it really liked it

Gavin de Becker makes a lot of good points about keeping our children safe, and it's a quick and painless read. Here are some of the important points that I got out of it:
-our intuition about people and situations is the most important tool we have to protect ourselves, and many (most) people ignore their intuition because they do not want to accept reality.
-the reality is that stranger abductions are incredibly rare, and worrying about this rare phenomenon takes valuable energy and attention aw Gavin de Becker makes a lot of good points about keeping our children safe, and it's a quick and painless read. Here are some of the important points that I got out of it:
-our intuition about people and situations is the most important tool we have to protect ourselves, and many (most) people ignore their intuition because they do not want to accept reality.
-the reality is that stranger abductions are incredibly rare, and worrying about this rare phenomenon takes valuable energy and attention away from the reality right under our noses:
-the people most likely to harm our children are people we know. something like one in three children are harmed by someone known to their family (usually sexual abuse), and no one ever suspected. but if they were paying attention, the signs were there and they would have known.
-fear is useful when it spurs us to action. worry that doesn't lead to any action is useless and actually damaging.
-women have the power to protect themselves and their children from violence. teenage girls can also protect themselves, but it helps to have feelings of self worth and people who believe them.
-it is possible (and important) to determine who can be trusted to take care of our children, and keep them safe from harm

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I enjoyed reading this book and feel that I got a lot out of it. However, I have a few criticisms. The author talks about how the media makes certain types of violence seem more common than they really are, and makes us unnecessarily afraid (to our detriment). But I got the feeling that the examples given in this book were doing the exact same thing. Some of them were very good and instructive, but others seemed to go against the author's point.

Also I felt that the editing could have been better. Like most parenting books, this one just isn't that tight. Some of the chapters do not hold together well, and seem to meander around a point that is hard to ascertain. But this is a minor complaint about a book that I still believe every parent and caregiver should read. ...more

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